Anyway, am posting good friend and enlightened being Annamari’s comment on that post in autograffiti years ago.

best regards,
ian

——

AnnaMari’s reply:

Good news: The answer is yes, men and women can be friends…

So, on to friendship, sex and friendship after sex.

Yes, men and women can be friends. The quality of one’s friendships also depends on how one looks at sex. My question is, why should sex and friendship be mutually exclusive? Yeah, yeah, I know, there are complications, and I am perfectly aware of that.

When I was a child and on to my teen years, I’ve always had more male than female friends. Perhaps it was because I was more comfortable with them, having two brothers before me. I just couldn’t relate to females. That all changed however after college, and I just found myself drawn to more female energies. All these friendships were beautiful in their own way.

I’d like to tell you about a wonderful 20 year old friendship that you can say began as a powerful attraction. A few years ago, and after seeing each other through various personal crises, fights, spiritual and practical projects, lots and lots of relationship problems (with other men/women of course) my friend and I were having a quiet moment and he looked at me and said, “I’m really glad we got the sex out of the way early enough…”

And yes, he was right! What we had gone through as friends all these years -the tampuhan, the strange loyalty, the craziness, the unyielding support, and that intimate knowledge of one another that allowed us to give each other the right advice in dealing with a relationship problem – was possible only because we had been brave and daring enough to admit the attraction, act on it(safely and responsibly of course) and maturely realize that it was NOT what we wanted!

Of course it was not a simple jump from bed to friendship, but as in all relationships that path is not all straightforward. And because, yes because, the sexual curiosity had been taken care of early enough, we were able to go from “lovestruck” to oh, “we’d be better off as friends, I think we’d get more done and be of better service to the world and our other friends.”

I say it all depends on your definition(s) of sex, I guess. I’ve had the grace of having among my friends ex-lovers. They are good friends and up to now I trust them as I would my wonderful female friends. Early on I promised myself that I would never undress for anyone to whom I could not bare my soul as well. Why go to bed with anyone who cannot be your friend? (Of course, I am not discounting the fact that there is some thrill for other people to have sex with someone they do not like… But I guess that’s not for me)

Life is too short to waste on making enemies with people who know how your belly button looks like. I’m not saying either that all ex-lovers have become my great pals (some of them have been good enough to stay out of my life) but I don’t harbor any ill feelings for them, either. Friendship is important. Sex shouldn’t get in the way of a fulfilling life-time relationship with another human being. So it all starts with how you treat yourself and others as sexual beings. With respect.

Peace

btw, baka yung dental chair e isang indikasyon na kelangan mo ng paayos ang pustiso mo hahahaha

btw…dentista ka na ba? bakit ka may dental chair sa website?