Posts Tagged ‘Vipassana’

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Vipassana for Nietzscheans?


2009
07.13

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Posted in Education, Filipinos, Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality | No Comments »

“He remembered his sadness well, but he could no longer remember what had made him so sad. It was that way with everything: even sadness passed, even pain and despair, as well as the joys. Everything passed, faded, lost its depth, its value, and finally there came a time when one could no longer remember what had pained one so. Pains, too, wilted and faded… Yes, doubtless this pain, this bitter need would also grow old and tired. It too would be forgotten. Nothing had permanence, and he regretted that, too.”

- Herman Hesse, “Narcissus and Goldmund”

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Am continuing my reflections on the possibility of a “Nietzschean Buddhism”…

Would like to sit again…

I’ve found something valuable in my practice. Hey, I may have not changed much but I detect a glimmer of hope… the possibility of overcoming deeply-ingrained bad habits of old. I’m no superman but like him, “I’m just out to find a better part of me.”

I came to Vipassana as a pantheist with Nietzschean leanings. I had strayed away from the Catholic Christian Church in the mid-1990′s. It was meeting Nietzsche (through his books, of course) that brought about my “conversion.” I found quite a number of my very deepest feelings and thoughts verbalized by this “madman.”

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The Resurrection of the Body


2009
05.27

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Part of the reason why I strayed away from “mother church” is my perception (whether right or wrong) that spirituality is inimical to the body.

You want to be holy/spiritual? Then, deny the body. The body, with its desires (sexual, biological, etc.) needs to be tamed, nay, caged. The body is a burden. If only we can become like angels. Pure, without the body which (unruly and with all these icky secretions, mucus, urine, etc.) always presents itself as a problem, a hindrance, an obstacle.

I’ve no problems with ascetic practices. I see their value. But when these practices get tied up with the denigration of the body, I react.

Didn’t God create the world and saw that it was good? Why then look at the body with an evil eye?

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The Heart of the Vegetarian Matter


2009
04.09

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The Heart of the Vegetarian Matter
(In Honor of the Flesh We Eat)
by Michael Ian Lomongo

On the 10th day of our Vipassana course in 2003, some of my meditation friends were discussing the idea of non-killing (even of insects), whether we’d continue the practice after the course. I said I’d probably do, but I’d try to keep in mind to always say to the insect/s “I’m sorry but I have to kill you.” (And then, someone pointed out that some American Indian tribes used to have this practice of “talking” to the animal they’re killing for food.)

Circa 1997, I used to regularly attend these monthly Full-Moon celebrations with SUFI-ISIS at either Samat Rd. or Biak-na-Bato (basta somewhere near Quezon Blvd.). They’d have someone who’d give a talk/lecture (on spirituality, various paths and techniques), afterwards there’d be meditation, and then meals!!! Woohoo! (They’ve got it all covered… food for the mind, soul, body!)

And one of the things that really struck me during one of the talks was this anecdote that the speaker shared. A group of monks was billeted in a hotel and they made sure that everything was taken care of (their accomodation, their special needs, like the purely vegetarian meal that they must have, etc.). Came mealtime, and imagine the monks’ chagrin when they found themselves being served meat! Agitated, they called for the hotel-manager and started really scolding and berating the incompetence of the hotel staff.

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Anicca*: This Too Shall Pass


2008
07.27

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Anicca*: This Too Shall Pass
(Strains of a Brewing Song in My Mind, In Honor of Friedrich “Superman” Nietzsche and Siddharta Gautama “Buddha”)

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* Pali word (pronounced “anicha”) meaning “impermanent, ephemeral, changing”

I have long been searching for answers
To the questions that nag my troubled mind…
I have long been seeking the healing
That would ease the pains of my restless heart…
And I grew older, but none the wiser.
Yes I grew older, but none the better.
And so it came to pass.

I craved for life, I craved for beauty,
I craved for the lasting joy that’d end the misery.
If only life were always good
If only life could stay this way, then maybe I could,
Yes I would, find calm.
Then maybe I could… learn to love
This world, this place, this life.
And so it came to pass.

“You’ve got to seize the moment
for it shall surely pass.”
And so it came to pass.

Then one day, I had this experience
It seemed to me the greatest moment of my life
I felt so happy, I felt so sad
Yes it was crazy, like mad
But I felt so strong I could love the world, and I mean everyone!
I felt so strong I could take whatever life’s got to offer
Be it pain… be it joy… be it sadness… be it love.
I smiled… I cried… and gave thanks.
And then I realized: this, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

I wanted the moment to last forever.
I wanted it to stay (Please stay).
But if only for that moment,
I’d be willing to take whatever has to come!
And so it came to pass.
This, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

Then one night, I had this experience.
It seemed to be the most painful moment of my life.
I felt so angry… stewing in my misery…
And through gritted teeth, it feeelt… sooo lonely.
And how I wanted the moment to just fucking go away
But it wouldn’t let me have my way.
I wanted it to end… I wanted it all to end.
And I cried… and I smiled… and whispered:
This, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

My love for life compels me to say:
This, this too shall pass!
If I wanted a moment forever,
If I wanted forever in a moment
I must see the moment arise and pass away.
This, this too shall pass.
My joy, my pain, my love, my life.
This, this too shall pass.
Seize the moment, seize the day,
Let it go, let it pass away.
This, this too shall pass.

This too shall pass.

—

Michael Ian Lomongo
October 24, 2003
Vipassana Meditation Course
Sico Farm, Cavite

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Meditation Blues in F#m (A Tribute to Yatha-Bhuta*)


2008
07.22

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Posted in Life, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality | 1 Comment »

something i wrote 4 years ago, sept. 2004…

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Meditation Blues in F#m (A Tribute to Yatha-Bhuta*)

by Michael Ian Lomongo

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*Yatha-Bhuta – a Pali word meaning, “reality,” “as it is”

(For my batchmates at VipaT(h)ree, especially Modie, Susette, Rose, Art, and Rudy – the “Usual Suspects” of the group-sittings I attend, from whom I continually draw inspiration…)

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“Am I ever gonna change? Will I always stay the same?

If I say one thing, then I do the other

Same old song goes on forever…”

- “Am I Ever Gonna Change,” Gary Cherone, Extreme

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In an essay entitled “The Myth of Sisyphus,” Albert Camus likened the human condition to that of Sisyphus. Sisyphus was punished by the gods to push a huge stone up the top of a mountain, only to have the stone roll down the mountain once he’s reached the top. He’d have to start again, push that stone up the mountain, to the top, and so on. Ad infinitum. Ad nauseam.

“Vanity… all is vanity,” the book of Ecclesiastes proclaims.

The pop song “Dust in the Wind“ by Kansas has this line: “All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see…”

A bit of a pessimist myself, I tend to withdraw from the exertion of effort. If I can’t do something well, I’d rather not do it. (It’s pride, really.) They say, “Try and try, until you die.” I say, “To try is already to die.” Why try when you can fly? Away, away from it all… the suffering, pain, humiliation, defeat.

Desist, and persist.

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Sitting On My Pain… Sitting With My Pain


2008
06.21

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something I wrote in April, 2004. When I was still meditating regularly…

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Sitting On My Pain… Sitting With My Pain
by Michael Ian Lomongo

“The essence of meditation is nowness…it is not aimed at achieving a higher state or at following some theory or idea, but simply, without any object or ambition, trying to see what is here and now.”

– Chogyam Trungpa

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I. In a few more days, it will be six months since I’ve started doing sitting-meditation. Regularly. Two hours. Daily. An hour in the morning, and another one in the evening. Alright, there are days when (due to partying with friends) I get to sit for just an hour (and days when I don’t get to sit at all), but I’d say I’ve been pretty consistent in my practice.

For the longest time, I’ve been meaning to meditate. Problem was, I didn’t know how. Sure, I’ve encountered several books on meditation and had some general idea about what took place during the “practice” but it was all in some kind of a haze. The closest I’ve come to a meditation practice was journal writing (specifically, Julia Cameron’s “morning pages”). And even then, I just couldn’t discipline myself to write three pages everyday.

And then I read an article by Bela Lipat in the Inquirer about this 10-day meditation course, Vipassana, that was given for free (yey!). This was June 2003. The article mentioned that the next course would be given October of that same year. I kept the article and resolved to apply for the course.

Just before October came, I e-mailed Sr. Angelita Walker, RSCJ (who was responsible for bringing Vipassana to the Philippines) about my desire to join the course. She directed me to www.dhamma.org to read the code of conduct for those intending to join the course. There I found out that I’d have to keep “noble silence” (absolute silence), cut off communication with the “outside world,” refrain from reading, writing, intoxicating substances, and killing mosquitoes, eat vegetarian food, etc. And all these for the duration of the 10-day course.

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