Gerontophobia (The Fear of Getting Old)
March 22nd, 2008
“Keep me searchin’ for a heart of gold, and I’m gettin’ old.”
– Neil Young, “Heart of Gold”
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A few months ago, I met Lizza, who’s in her early 30’s. When she realized I was older, she talked about “feeling it.” The coming of age. Old age… and all its concomitant side effects.
I feel the same. There’s a certain wistfulness in the realization that time’s passing. And that sooner or later, time, my time, will be up.
Most of my friends and acquaintances merely laugh it off.
I don’t. (Or, I try to, only that I imagine hearing a faint echo, as if the grim reaper itself were Old Sir Mick singing “Time is on My Side.”)
I feel old. Even when I feel young inside, my body feels old.
Even what I used to think was this raging fire inside my soul seems to be just dying embers.