Xn3cTs

A Rehearsal for Dying
By Michael Ian Lomongo

“To conquer death, you only have to die… you only have to die.” – Jesus Christ, in Webber/Rice’s “Jesus Christ Superstar”

I was a young kid then when my brother Errol and I used to play with toy guns, soldiers and tanks. Once, our mother heard us talking about wiping out each other’s “men.” She said that we shouldn’t be talking so cavalierly about killing and deaths because, in the real world, lives that are taken are lost, well, permanently.

At about the same time, during the proclamation of faith in one mass that we attended, I heard Errol sing “Si Kristo’y namatay, si Kristo’y nabuhay, si Kristo’y babalik sa wakas ng panahon.” I told our mom that my brother’s got it all wrong, that it should be “Sa bakas ng panahon.” Only to find out that I was the one who’d been singing it wrongly all this time.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I tried to imagine what it would be like at the end of time. I thought there would only be trees and birds. (I even imagined the sunlight filtering through the trees and the birds chirping in an early “people-less” morning.) Everyone I know (including me), and even those I hardly know and don’t know at all, would be gone, dead. It was awful.

I thought people didn’t really die. I thought that they soon got up from their graves or from wherever or whatever they’ve been lying, just like those numerous people who get killed in action movies. And to top it all, there was such a thing as the “end of time.” Oh God!

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Death, Dying, Life, Near-Death Experience
Posted in Filipinos, Life | 2 Comments »

novermber 22, 2003

—-

To continue with Nietzsche’s criticism of Buddhism:

Nietzsche preferred Judaism over Christianity. He saw Christianity as the full flowering of Jewish resentment (as exemplified by St. Paul, who because he couldn’t observe the Law, turned against the Law…). Likewise, he preferred Hinduism over Buddhism, which he saw as the product of an old, world-and-life-wearied culture/civilization.

Nietzsche looks at Buddhism as a pessimism.

Life is full of suffering. How to end suffering?

End the very source of suffering, life itself. Since suicide was believed to produce more suffering (through karma/reincarnation), this particular option is out of the question.

How is life manifested? Through desire.

You want to end suffering, then desire no more.

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Buddhism, Desire, Friedrich Nietzsche, Life, Pessimism, spirituality
Posted in Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, spirituality | No Comments »

Am trying to re-post old posts August of last year which were not backed up.

best regards,

ian

—

More Than Words (More Ramblings…)

One of my all-time favorite songs is “More Than Words.” It became a monster hit in 1991 or 1992, spawning a long list of other “unplugged” numbers. The song, written by Nuno Bettencourt and Gary Cherone (of the now disbanded “Extreme,” a funky-metal band similar in style to Red Hot Chili Peppers, with lyrics that usually tackled religious and philosophical issues), had a beautiful melody, wonderful vocal harmony, with only a bare guitar and a bongo drum for its accompaniment. At a time when most songs were overweighed by layers of instrumentation with technological gadgets, synthesizers, etc., it was a breath of fresh air to hear this song that was pure and naked in its beauty, honesty, and simplicity. No gimmicks, just the bare essentials.

It also expressed for me an important lesson that I learned from Karl Marx and the existentialists. Karl Marx says that “Life determines consciousness; not consciousness, life.” Thus, the emphasis on praxis (practice, not as “rehearsal,” but as “actualization”), over and above theory. Of course, the existentialists harp on the call for authenticity.

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, spirituality
Posted in Filipinos, Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality | No Comments »

Para Mama, Para Nga!!!
(isang monologo para sa bagong taon)

alay sa mga bwakanang files ko na nabura noong bisperas ng bwakanang bagong taon…

ni Body Dancer

Sampung taon na ang nakararaan ng una akong mag-odisyon para maging scholar ng Tanghalang Pilipino Actors’ Company. Mula sa mahigit limampung ininterbyu bago mag-odisyon, naiwan kaming kulang-kulang 20. Tatlong araw yung odisyon. Bawa’t araw, nababawasan kami. Matira matibay. Survival of the fittest. Darwinian natural selection. Selecta. Choose your own adventure.

Umabot ako sa pangatlong araw.

But ultimately failed to make the grade.

Almost made it. But didn’t.

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Art, Life, Love, monologue, Music, songs
Posted in Acting, Art, Education, Filipinos, Life, Love, Music, Theater, Writing | 9 Comments »

I read a book on “Soto Zen,” and I encountered the names of Huineng and Shen-hsiu in its presentation of the historical origins of Zen. They were both students of the so-called Fifth Ancestor (Zen Patriarch). Huineng became the successor, the 6th ancestor.

“Shen-hsiu believed that all beings possessed the Buddha nature. However, he regarded delusions (Skt. klesa) as something real, teaching that they must be removed gradually through strenuous efforts. His school of Zen is therefore termed ‘gradual enlightenment through real practice.’ The Zen of Hui-neng, on the other hand, holds that the Buddha Heart, which all beings naturally possess, is an indivisible union of the wisdom of enlightenment and meditation found in religious observances. Illusion and affliction are originally non-existent. Therefore, religious observances cannot be regarded as merely a means to rid oneself of illusion, but must be thought of as a practice of enlightenment, or enlightenment in practice. In Zen we call this ’sudden enlightenment – wonderful practice’ (J. tongomyoshu).”

Anyway, to continue with my rambling:

My research into the meaning of love, of course, led me to the Greek (eros/philia), Christian (eros/agape), and romantic (chivalric/troubadourian) ideas on love. At its core, love (whatever its form/manifestation) involves affirmation or approval or the simple recognition of value/beauty/good. (There is this play “Metamorphoses” that is a collection of Greek myths – based on Ovid’s work of the same title – that we read at Phil. Playhouse. I loved it. It’s very poetic, and I’d say, if executed well, could be a very moving meditation on love, in its various forms. I’d even say that the whole play is a prayer of sorts.)

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality
Posted in Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality | No Comments »

From an autografitti post… November 6, 2008.

————————————————————-

Hi peeps!

Hope you’re all doing fine!

In lieu of writing a clear presentation of what has been preoccupying my mind these days, I will be starting a series of rambling thoughts on certain topics (love, egoism, nietzsche, buddhism, christianity, power, passion, compassion, etc.) that have held me captive for sometime.

The stimulus, of course, is Buddhism and the Vipassana meditation course I just took.

My interest in Eastern religions and mysticism probably arose when, as a college seminarian, I took this course in Indian philosophy. I was simply fascinated by the stories, the immensity of it all, and the apparent contradictions contained within a philosophical system. I practically remembered almost without effort most of what we were taught in that particular subject. (Mostly basic concepts like “atman,” “brahman,” “maya,” etc.)

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Buddhism, Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality
Posted in Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality | No Comments »

isang eulohiya para kay Ramon Jose Leyran, sinulat noong Octubre 10, 2003.

—————————————————————–

Lamay: Pakikiramay, Buhay, Kamatayan
ni Michael Ian Lomongo

Kung di ako nagkakamali, nabuo raw ni Wency Cornejo ang kantang “Habang May Buhay” sa isang lamay. Kakaiba nga ang lamay ng mga pinoy: sa mga probinsiya, may pasugal (madyong, baraha, trembe), may inuman pa sa iba, may mga laro (juego de prenda), may kantahan, kwentuhan, tugtugan, may pakain din (kape, tinapay, biskwit, sopas, kendi, atbp.). Para ngang lagi tayong naghahanap ng dahilan para magkaroon ng selebrasyon.

Minsan, meron akong kababata at kaklase sa elementaryang namatay. Malalaki na kami nang maaksidente si Rhey sa motorsiklo. Natural, nagkita-kita sa lamay ang mga dating magkakaklaseng bihira nang magkasama-sama. Meron din kaming kaklaseng nasa ibang bansa noon. Tumawag siya (si Elna) sa telepono at nakibalita sa isa sa amin, at ang sabi niya: “Magkakasama kayo d’yan? E ‘di ang saya-saya n’yo!”

Hindi na siguro kakatwang makakita ng mga taong tumatawa habang tumutulo ang luha sa mga lamay. May lungkot dahil sa pangungulila sa isang kasama o kaibigang hindi na makakahuntahan o makakabiruan. May saya dahil may pasasalamat sa magagandang ala-alang pinagsaluhan ng magkakaibigan.

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Acting, Actors, Art, Bangungot, Death, Filipinos, Kafka, Life, Ramon Jose Leyran, Tanghalang Pilipino, Theater
Posted in Acting, Art, Filipinos, Life, Love, Philosophy, Psychology, Theater, spirituality | 1 Comment »

something i wrote 4 years ago, sept. 2004…

________________________________________________________________

Meditation Blues in F#m (A Tribute to Yatha-Bhuta*)

by Michael Ian Lomongo

————————————–

*Yatha-Bhuta – a Pali word meaning, “reality,” “as it is”

(For my batchmates at VipaT(h)ree, especially Modie, Susette, Rose, Art, and Rudy – the “Usual Suspects” of the group-sittings I attend, from whom I continually draw inspiration…)

————————————–

“Am I ever gonna change? Will I always stay the same?

If I say one thing, then I do the other

Same old song goes on forever…”

- “Am I Ever Gonna Change,” Gary Cherone, Extreme

———————————–

In an essay entitled “The Myth of Sisyphus,” Albert Camus likened the human condition to that of Sisyphus. Sisyphus was punished by the gods to push a huge stone up the top of a mountain, only to have the stone roll down the mountain once he’s reached the top. He’d have to start again, push that stone up the mountain, to the top, and so on. Ad infinitum. Ad nauseam.

“Vanity… all is vanity,” the book of Ecclesiastes proclaims.

The pop song “Dust in the Wind“ by Kansas has this line: “All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see…”

A bit of a pessimist myself, I tend to withdraw from the exertion of effort. If I can’t do something well, I’d rather not do it. (It’s pride, really.) They say, “Try and try, until you die.” I say, “To try is already to die.” Why try when you can fly? Away, away from it all… the suffering, pain, humiliation, defeat.

Desist, and persist.

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Life, Meditation, Nietzsche, Nihilism, Pessimism, Philosophy, Sisyphus, spirituality, Vipassana
Posted in Life, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality | 1 Comment »

something I wrote in April, 2004. When I was still meditating regularly…

—–

Sitting On My Pain… Sitting With My Pain
by Michael Ian Lomongo

“The essence of meditation is nowness…it is not aimed at achieving a higher state or at following some theory or idea, but simply, without any object or ambition, trying to see what is here and now.”

– Chogyam Trungpa

—

I. In a few more days, it will be six months since I’ve started doing sitting-meditation. Regularly. Two hours. Daily. An hour in the morning, and another one in the evening. Alright, there are days when (due to partying with friends) I get to sit for just an hour (and days when I don’t get to sit at all), but I’d say I’ve been pretty consistent in my practice.

For the longest time, I’ve been meaning to meditate. Problem was, I didn’t know how. Sure, I’ve encountered several books on meditation and had some general idea about what took place during the “practice” but it was all in some kind of a haze. The closest I’ve come to a meditation practice was journal writing (specifically, Julia Cameron’s “morning pages”). And even then, I just couldn’t discipline myself to write three pages everyday.

And then I read an article by Bela Lipat in the Inquirer about this 10-day meditation course, Vipassana, that was given for free (yey!). This was June 2003. The article mentioned that the next course would be given October of that same year. I kept the article and resolved to apply for the course.

Just before October came, I e-mailed Sr. Angelita Walker, RSCJ (who was responsible for bringing Vipassana to the Philippines) about my desire to join the course. She directed me to www.dhamma.org to read the code of conduct for those intending to join the course. There I found out that I’d have to keep “noble silence” (absolute silence), cut off communication with the “outside world,” refrain from reading, writing, intoxicating substances, and killing mosquitoes, eat vegetarian food, etc. And all these for the duration of the 10-day course.

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Life, Meditation, spirituality, Vipassana
Posted in Life, Love, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality | 1 Comment »

Everything happens in the now. But even if everything happens in the “now,” we do not experience this. Consciousness, experience is time-bound.The theory of eternal recurrence is, if i’m not mistaken, also held by some eastern/hindi religions. Also by the stoics. Basically, it’s the theory that everything which has happened has already happened and will happen again infinitely. The premise is that if the world is finite and we have infinite time, all the permutations in the world will take place and be repeated again and again and again. To simplify, let’s say the whole world is made up of A, B, and C. At one point, the order would be like this: ABC; another, ACB; still another, BCA… and so on, until you will have to come back to ABC.

For my idol Nietzsche, it is a theory or a postulate which can be used to help us to live better (like heaven/hell, reincarnation, etc.).

Would you want the kind of life that you’re living be lived again? And again? And again?

Live then with the goal of eradicating, or at least, minimizing regrets.

best regards,
ian

Tags: Eternal Recurrence, Life, Nietzsche, Philosophy, spirituality
Posted in Life, Nietzsche, Philosophy, spirituality | 1 Comment »