posted in autografitti, Monday, May 10, 2004 10:53 pm… also reprinted in Gai Olivares’s column at Daily Tribune…
________________________________________________________________________________
Post-Election Blues (For Jojo and Other Kindred Spirits)
By Michael Ian Lomongo
I voted for Eddie Villanueva.
Nope, I’m not a JIL member. Nope, I’m not a born-again Christian. I see myself more as a “renaissance” man (which incidentally also means “born again”), but I doubt if die-hard born-again Christians would see that as a sign of kinship.
Actually, I’m a pantheistic Nietzschean-Buddhist-Christian. In other words, “colorum.” Registered voter, unregistered religion.
Why then did I vote for Bro. Eddie?
Both in Ayala (April 29) and Luneta (May 6), as the yellow-clad people around me would start chanting, I’d hear strains of Radiohead’s classic song in my head: “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here…”
In the first place, my spirituality is not of the evangelical-charismatic type. I prefer Taize-like celebrations, or Tibetan eerie, monastic chantings, or Cynthia Alexander‘s Indian-inspired rock hymns.
But I did join them in the prayer for our country. I may not be wearing yellow but my heart was bathed in a golden-yellow light. With shades of green. I truly felt that even if our convictions were not the same, we were… are, united in desiring change, radical change, in our country’s state of affairs.
I was a martial law baby. I grew up hearing from my parents about “Mccoy” and “Ninoy.” Ninoy’s assassination marked the beginnings of my politicization. I started reading “We Forum,” “Mr. & Mrs.” and “Malaya.” (I even had a crush on the long-haired and bespectacled Kris before her foray into showbiz. Yeah, yeah, I know…)
However, I was too young to vote in the 1986 elections. But, yes, I was as yellow as one can be.
People Power. The Edsa Revolution. Cory became president. The 1987 constitution was ratified.
Cory had good intentions. But good intentions are not enough. Or probably, her good intentions were not good enough. I was disappointed. She lost the chance to radically alter the trajectory of Philippine politics. She vowed CARL to be centerpiece of her administration. But what happened to it? New politics… old politics? Same difference.
Fast-forward to 1992. I voted for Jovito Salonga. Elders kept telling me he wouldn’t win. They voted for Ramos. My peers (the youth) voted for Miriam. As some pundits said, Miriam may have won but was probably cheated of that victory because she didn’t have the machinery.
And so Ramos became president.
1998. I voted for Erap. I was exasperated with all these leaders. Qualified, intelligent, educated leaders who always failed the aspirations of the people because their hearts were not with them. Erap knew the language of the masses. He communicated with them. He felt their pulse. And he seemed to be sincere in wanting the welfare of the masses. And he had these advisers, people from the left, who seemed to be won over by Erap’s “sincerity.”
I’ve always admired Conrado De Quiros’s writing. He’s probably my best-loved Inquirer columnist. But this was the one time that his eloquence failed to convince and persuade me.
I don’t know, I’ve always loved Roco when he was a senator, senate’s “honorary woman.” But when he started gunning for the president, I got turned off. Here was a man who was easily piqued. Maybe, I was just seeing my own shadow. I know I could be, but I don’t want to be, an arrogant prick with a tic. (There was something about his eye-tic that bothered me. This guy seemed to be hiding something that unconsciously manifested itself in the tic.)
Besides, I thought, if Erap failed, then perhaps the people would realize that our salvation does not lie on any one man/woman (the president), whether he/she be the champion of the masses or the intellectuals. That our duty as citizens does not end with the casting of our votes.
The greatest indictment of our intellectuals (or simply “educated” leaders and would-be leaders) is how the masses who used to respect and cherish people like Recto, Tanada, et al. are now willing to cast their lot with the likes of Erap and FPJ, and Ramon Revilla, pater et filius. And no, do not heap the blame on Marcos. Cory, Ramos, and Gloria are just as culpable.
What is the message? “We’d rather have an UNEDUCATED leader than an EDUCATED one, as long as he really has OUR WELFARE FOREMOST IN HIS MIND AND HEART.”
It is a cry of desperation. A cry that continues to fall on deaf ears.
That is why Gloria was the first to go off my list.
I was there at Edsa II. I didn’t want her to become president. You can almost touch the glee in her power-hungry eyes when she was being interviewed and “seeming” non-committal during the height of the revolution. I wanted Davide to become president. Here was a man with integrity. Not charismatic, but upright.
But Gloria was vice-president. It was in the order of things that she became president.
But she, like Cory before her, wasted the opportunity given her to lead with moral integrity and redeem the reputation of “intellectuals.” She just showed that whether you have an educated, efficient leader or an inept, uneducated leader, – if they do not have the welfare of the people as their priority, you’d still have, more or less, the same kind of leadership. You’ll just have more efficient graft and corruption in the other. But while Cory was a reluctant leader whose heart was really not into it, Gloria was basking in the perks of having power. And using it unwisely and brazenly for self-promotion and -aggrandizement.
I wanted Davide to run. But he didn’t want to run. Case closed.
Who to vote for?
Lacson. Guns to solve disputes. Bang! Off my list.
FPJ? No, no, no! Not again! You’re out of your mind! Not after Erap!
But why not?
After all, I really believed that the first thing we need in a president is the sincere desire and will to uphold the good of the country. He seemed to be, again, “sincere.” Plus, he seemed to have a good philosophy behind his running as president. While the other presidential candidates presented themselves as “the only hope” of the country (Give me a break!), he was a reluctant “messiah,” and spoke of running the country as a “team effort.”
And then, the incident with Sandra Aguinaldo happened. (I happen to know Sandra and I know she’s not rude.) I got turned off. You talk about the “heart” and “the people” and here’s a simple case of “pakikipagkapwa-tao,” and what do you do?
With the magic of the “language of the heart” dispelled, I saw FPJ for what he truly is. And the people behind his candidacy. The same people behind Erap’s candidacy.
Tama. Not again.
So, it was now down to Roco and Bro. Eddie for me.
Roco’s eye-tic seemed to be gone. (I reckoned whatever personal issues he had there got resolved.) And, for all his character flaws, he still seemed to be, like Bro. Eddie, a man of integrity. Plus, he appropriated the “I love you” sign as his campaign-signal. (I liked the fact that he chose it but didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t use the sign during rock concerts without being taken for a Roco supporter.)
What clinched it for me was Roco’s getting sick. (I believe in the wisdom of the body.) The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
And then all these friends with whom I disagreed whenever it came to talking about our presidential candidates started recommending Bro. Eddie. We quarreled about the others but agreed on Bro. Eddie.
He didn’t seem to be a fanatic. He had his (religious) convictions but he didn’t necessarily thump his bible when confronted with issues/questions concerning the country.
Hours after the election, it now seems like the contest will be between GMA and FPJ.
Well, maybe we could have had more than a fighting chance if Bro. Eddie and Roco united. Of course, I’m thinking Roco should have become Eddie’s VP. It would have been weird for Bro. Eddie to have become Roco’s VP since Roco had Hermie Aquino. (I voted for him!) At least, Aquino would not look on it unkindly when he gets booted out because he’d see that Roco himself is making a great sacrifice.
Well, we fought the good fight.
As long as we voted according to our consciences, we fought the good fight. We won, though we may have lost in the actual elections. We won because we never let our voices get drowned by the clangor of surveys, arguments of “winnability” and “our votes just going to waste.” Not to mention the vote-buying, violence, and sheer apathy from the seeming hopelessness of it all.
We’re sowing seeds. Good seeds. God’s seeds, if I may say.
Someday, we, our children, our children’s children, will reap the fruits of what we have sown.
Whether it’s eventually GMA or FPJ, I’m not losing heart.
I’m keeping the faith.
Maniwala ka!
Mon May 10, 2004 10:53 pm
Tags: Filipinos, Philippine Elections, Politics, spirituality