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December 25th, 2008

Am reactivating my blog. It went down the first week of September after we got banned by the original host. For what reason, I don’t know. Most of the posts for August are gone because I wasn’t able to back up the uploaded files. Anyway, will do my best to re-post these pieces. In the meantime, here’s an old Christmas essay I wrote four years ago (with a few updates because, well, it is 2008).

best regards,

ian

———-

Christmas Hues (Blues?)
by Michael Ian Lomongo

“And so this is Christmas, and what have we done?”
- John Lennon, “Happy Christmas”

—

Four years ago, the Philippine Daily Inquirer showed this graph which showed that more and more Filipinos no longer feel that happy feeling that used to come with the Christmas season.

Of course, a lot has been written about the depression that comes with the holidays. That feeling of loneliness that just becomes heightened and aggravated because of all the hype, the sense of promise and expectation in this so-called season of love and redemption…

Everyone, at some point in his/her life, must have experienced just how that felt.

It’s as if your whole being is prepped up for an epiphany… a miracle… some magical transformation in your life… for God to reveal his/her face, or even just his/her name…

Maranatha… please, Lord, come.

Just some small miracle… something that would make the anxious hoping and waiting worthwhile…

But it just never came. It never comes.

Or, it probably came and went, without our noticing it.

In my teens, I used to really feel that sense of growing sadness and disappointment whenever festivities (parties, etc.) came to an end. It felt like dying. It didn’t help that our night prayers echoed that sentiment of dying… even if it was painted as “resting in God.”

I didn’t want to sleep. I didn’t want to “rest in God’s abode.” I didn’t want to die.

It was the same case with leavetakings. I didn’t know how to properly say goodbye. I felt sad even with the knowledge that I’d see this friend again, and felt even sadder not knowing how to handle that feeling.

As I grew up, I learned how to come to terms with the limitations of the human condition. Anicca/Anitya. Everything arises and passes… comes and goes… Nothing lasts forever.

I realized that a lot of my sadness and pain came from wanting the high moments (the good times) to last. Of course, it’s but natural to desire this and I’d have been abnormal if I didn’t. As Nietzsche said, all joy wants eternity.

I’ve come to realize that it’s not so much the duration, but the quality of my presence in the moment which would determine my experience of its eternity.

Emmanuel. Eternity is always with us. God is always with us. Continually arriving. Continually being born, and re-born. Continually dying. Every moment. Every precious moment.

It is the limitation of our insight that prevents us from seeing this.

And so, my prayer has become, “Lord, open my eyes. That I may see.”

Once, three grimy street children were my co-passengers on a jeepney bound for Cubao. I was looking at them, thinking, not unkindly, about how a bath or two would do them a lot of good, when one of them innocently blurted out, “Kuya, sana sabado na, ano?” I smiled, and asked them where they were headed.

But I knew what he meant. He was wistfully wishing, as kids do, that it would be Christmas soon. If only everyday could be Christmas… when, presumably, people in general become kinder to one another, and they naturally get treated better.

Ah, to regain that innocence of children! Small wonder that Christmas has always been said to be for children. To dream, to hope, to love in a world that all-too-often can appear to be bleak, gray and hopeless is to be young in a world grown old and weary.

Nowadays when friends ask me how life’s treating me, I laughingly reply, “Could be better… But it’s fine just as it is.”

With feet planted on the ground, I dream of a better future.

For myself. For my family and friends. For our country. For the world.

Bhavatu sabba mangalam!

May all beings be happy!

—

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.”
- John Lennon, “Imagine”

—

Sa gitna ng gulo, ingay, gusot, masasalimuot na pangyayaring sumusulpot, pumapalibot, pilit na sumusuot sa’ting buhay, pakinggan ang isang munting tinig mula sa ating kalooban: “Do what you can, and then let it go. For this too, as all things, shall pass.” Isang mapayapa, masagana, at mapagkalingang Pasko at bagong taon sa ating lahat! May this Chrismas and the coming year be filled with love, happiness, prosperity, health, and peace for us and our loved ones!

Happy happy! Merry merry!

best regards,
ian

Tags: Christmas, Filipinos, spirituality
Posted in Filipinos, Life, Love, Psychology, spirituality | 1 Comment »