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Am trying to re-post old posts August of last year which were not backed up.

best regards,

ian

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More Than Words (More Ramblings…)

One of my all-time favorite songs is “More Than Words.” It became a monster hit in 1991 or 1992, spawning a long list of other “unplugged” numbers. The song, written by Nuno Bettencourt and Gary Cherone (of the now disbanded “Extreme,” a funky-metal band similar in style to Red Hot Chili Peppers, with lyrics that usually tackled religious and philosophical issues), had a beautiful melody, wonderful vocal harmony, with only a bare guitar and a bongo drum for its accompaniment. At a time when most songs were overweighed by layers of instrumentation with technological gadgets, synthesizers, etc., it was a breath of fresh air to hear this song that was pure and naked in its beauty, honesty, and simplicity. No gimmicks, just the bare essentials.

It also expressed for me an important lesson that I learned from Karl Marx and the existentialists. Karl Marx says that “Life determines consciousness; not consciousness, life.” Thus, the emphasis on praxis (practice, not as “rehearsal,” but as “actualization”), over and above theory. Of course, the existentialists harp on the call for authenticity.

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Tags: Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, spirituality
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Am reactivating my blog. It went down the first week of September after we got banned by the original host. For what reason, I don’t know. Most of the posts for August are gone because I wasn’t able to back up the uploaded files. Anyway, will do my best to re-post these pieces. In the meantime, here’s an old Christmas essay I wrote four years ago (with a few updates because, well, it is 2008).

best regards,

ian

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Christmas Hues (Blues?)
by Michael Ian Lomongo

“And so this is Christmas, and what have we done?”
- John Lennon, “Happy Christmas”

—

Four years ago, the Philippine Daily Inquirer showed this graph which showed that more and more Filipinos no longer feel that happy feeling that used to come with the Christmas season.

Of course, a lot has been written about the depression that comes with the holidays. That feeling of loneliness that just becomes heightened and aggravated because of all the hype, the sense of promise and expectation in this so-called season of love and redemption…

Everyone, at some point in his/her life, must have experienced just how that felt.

It’s as if your whole being is prepped up for an epiphany… a miracle… some magical transformation in your life… for God to reveal his/her face, or even just his/her name…

Maranatha… please, Lord, come.

Just some small miracle… something that would make the anxious hoping and waiting worthwhile…

But it just never came. It never comes.

Or, it probably came and went, without our noticing it.

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Tags: Christmas, Filipinos, spirituality
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I read a book on “Soto Zen,” and I encountered the names of Huineng and Shen-hsiu in its presentation of the historical origins of Zen. They were both students of the so-called Fifth Ancestor (Zen Patriarch). Huineng became the successor, the 6th ancestor.

“Shen-hsiu believed that all beings possessed the Buddha nature. However, he regarded delusions (Skt. klesa) as something real, teaching that they must be removed gradually through strenuous efforts. His school of Zen is therefore termed ‘gradual enlightenment through real practice.’ The Zen of Hui-neng, on the other hand, holds that the Buddha Heart, which all beings naturally possess, is an indivisible union of the wisdom of enlightenment and meditation found in religious observances. Illusion and affliction are originally non-existent. Therefore, religious observances cannot be regarded as merely a means to rid oneself of illusion, but must be thought of as a practice of enlightenment, or enlightenment in practice. In Zen we call this ’sudden enlightenment – wonderful practice’ (J. tongomyoshu).”

Anyway, to continue with my rambling:

My research into the meaning of love, of course, led me to the Greek (eros/philia), Christian (eros/agape), and romantic (chivalric/troubadourian) ideas on love. At its core, love (whatever its form/manifestation) involves affirmation or approval or the simple recognition of value/beauty/good. (There is this play “Metamorphoses” that is a collection of Greek myths – based on Ovid’s work of the same title – that we read at Phil. Playhouse. I loved it. It’s very poetic, and I’d say, if executed well, could be a very moving meditation on love, in its various forms. I’d even say that the whole play is a prayer of sorts.)

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Tags: Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality
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From an autografitti post… November 6, 2008.

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Hi peeps!

Hope you’re all doing fine!

In lieu of writing a clear presentation of what has been preoccupying my mind these days, I will be starting a series of rambling thoughts on certain topics (love, egoism, nietzsche, buddhism, christianity, power, passion, compassion, etc.) that have held me captive for sometime.

The stimulus, of course, is Buddhism and the Vipassana meditation course I just took.

My interest in Eastern religions and mysticism probably arose when, as a college seminarian, I took this course in Indian philosophy. I was simply fascinated by the stories, the immensity of it all, and the apparent contradictions contained within a philosophical system. I practically remembered almost without effort most of what we were taught in that particular subject. (Mostly basic concepts like “atman,” “brahman,” “maya,” etc.)

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Tags: Buddhism, Life, Love, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality
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Anicca*: This Too Shall Pass
(Strains of a Brewing Song in My Mind, In Honor of Friedrich “Superman” Nietzsche and Siddharta Gautama “Buddha”)

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* Pali word (pronounced “anicha”) meaning “impermanent, ephemeral, changing”

I have long been searching for answers
To the questions that nag my troubled mind…
I have long been seeking the healing
That would ease the pains of my restless heart…
And I grew older, but none the wiser.
Yes I grew older, but none the better.
And so it came to pass.

I craved for life, I craved for beauty,
I craved for the lasting joy that’d end the misery.
If only life were always good
If only life could stay this way, then maybe I could,
Yes I would, find calm.
Then maybe I could… learn to love
This world, this place, this life.
And so it came to pass.

“You’ve got to seize the moment
for it shall surely pass.”
And so it came to pass.

Then one day, I had this experience
It seemed to me the greatest moment of my life
I felt so happy, I felt so sad
Yes it was crazy, like mad
But I felt so strong I could love the world, and I mean everyone!
I felt so strong I could take whatever life’s got to offer
Be it pain… be it joy… be it sadness… be it love.
I smiled… I cried… and gave thanks.
And then I realized: this, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

I wanted the moment to last forever.
I wanted it to stay (Please stay).
But if only for that moment,
I’d be willing to take whatever has to come!
And so it came to pass.
This, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

Then one night, I had this experience.
It seemed to be the most painful moment of my life.
I felt so angry… stewing in my misery…
And through gritted teeth, it feeelt… sooo lonely.
And how I wanted the moment to just fucking go away
But it wouldn’t let me have my way.
I wanted it to end… I wanted it all to end.
And I cried… and I smiled… and whispered:
This, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

My love for life compels me to say:
This, this too shall pass!
If I wanted a moment forever,
If I wanted forever in a moment
I must see the moment arise and pass away.
This, this too shall pass.
My joy, my pain, my love, my life.
This, this too shall pass.
Seize the moment, seize the day,
Let it go, let it pass away.
This, this too shall pass.

This too shall pass.

—

Michael Ian Lomongo
October 24, 2003
Vipassana Meditation Course
Sico Farm, Cavite

Tags: Buddha, Nietzsche, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality, Vipassana
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isang eulohiya para kay Ramon Jose Leyran, sinulat noong Octubre 10, 2003.

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Lamay: Pakikiramay, Buhay, Kamatayan
ni Michael Ian Lomongo

Kung di ako nagkakamali, nabuo raw ni Wency Cornejo ang kantang “Habang May Buhay” sa isang lamay. Kakaiba nga ang lamay ng mga pinoy: sa mga probinsiya, may pasugal (madyong, baraha, trembe), may inuman pa sa iba, may mga laro (juego de prenda), may kantahan, kwentuhan, tugtugan, may pakain din (kape, tinapay, biskwit, sopas, kendi, atbp.). Para ngang lagi tayong naghahanap ng dahilan para magkaroon ng selebrasyon.

Minsan, meron akong kababata at kaklase sa elementaryang namatay. Malalaki na kami nang maaksidente si Rhey sa motorsiklo. Natural, nagkita-kita sa lamay ang mga dating magkakaklaseng bihira nang magkasama-sama. Meron din kaming kaklaseng nasa ibang bansa noon. Tumawag siya (si Elna) sa telepono at nakibalita sa isa sa amin, at ang sabi niya: “Magkakasama kayo d’yan? E ‘di ang saya-saya n’yo!”

Hindi na siguro kakatwang makakita ng mga taong tumatawa habang tumutulo ang luha sa mga lamay. May lungkot dahil sa pangungulila sa isang kasama o kaibigang hindi na makakahuntahan o makakabiruan. May saya dahil may pasasalamat sa magagandang ala-alang pinagsaluhan ng magkakaibigan.

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Tags: Acting, Actors, Art, Bangungot, Death, Filipinos, Kafka, Life, Ramon Jose Leyran, Tanghalang Pilipino, Theater
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something i wrote 4 years ago, sept. 2004…

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Meditation Blues in F#m (A Tribute to Yatha-Bhuta*)

by Michael Ian Lomongo

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*Yatha-Bhuta – a Pali word meaning, “reality,” “as it is”

(For my batchmates at VipaT(h)ree, especially Modie, Susette, Rose, Art, and Rudy – the “Usual Suspects” of the group-sittings I attend, from whom I continually draw inspiration…)

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“Am I ever gonna change? Will I always stay the same?

If I say one thing, then I do the other

Same old song goes on forever…”

- “Am I Ever Gonna Change,” Gary Cherone, Extreme

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In an essay entitled “The Myth of Sisyphus,” Albert Camus likened the human condition to that of Sisyphus. Sisyphus was punished by the gods to push a huge stone up the top of a mountain, only to have the stone roll down the mountain once he’s reached the top. He’d have to start again, push that stone up the mountain, to the top, and so on. Ad infinitum. Ad nauseam.

“Vanity… all is vanity,” the book of Ecclesiastes proclaims.

The pop song “Dust in the Wind“ by Kansas has this line: “All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see…”

A bit of a pessimist myself, I tend to withdraw from the exertion of effort. If I can’t do something well, I’d rather not do it. (It’s pride, really.) They say, “Try and try, until you die.” I say, “To try is already to die.” Why try when you can fly? Away, away from it all… the suffering, pain, humiliation, defeat.

Desist, and persist.

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Tags: Life, Meditation, Nietzsche, Nihilism, Pessimism, Philosophy, Sisyphus, spirituality, Vipassana
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posted in autografitti, Monday, May 10, 2004 10:53 pm… also reprinted in Gai Olivares’s column at Daily Tribune…

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Post-Election Blues (For Jojo and Other Kindred Spirits)
By Michael Ian Lomongo

I voted for Eddie Villanueva.

Nope, I’m not a JIL member. Nope, I’m not a born-again Christian. I see myself more as a “renaissance” man (which incidentally also means “born again”), but I doubt if die-hard born-again Christians would see that as a sign of kinship.

Actually, I’m a pantheistic Nietzschean-Buddhist-Christian. In other words, “colorum.” Registered voter, unregistered religion.

Why then did I vote for Bro. Eddie?

Both in Ayala (April 29) and Luneta (May 6), as the yellow-clad people around me would start chanting, I’d hear strains of Radiohead’s classic song in my head: “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here…”

In the first place, my spirituality is not of the evangelical-charismatic type. I prefer Taize-like celebrations, or Tibetan eerie, monastic chantings, or Cynthia Alexander’s Indian-inspired rock hymns.

But I did join them in the prayer for our country. I may not be wearing yellow but my heart was bathed in a golden-yellow light. With shades of green. I truly felt that even if our convictions were not the same, we were… are, united in desiring change, radical change, in our country’s state of affairs.

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Tags: Filipinos, Philippine Elections, Politics, spirituality
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A friend once asked whether there is room for “soul” in pantheism.

Am just one pantheist among many, so I guess there could be room for the “soul” in a pantheist’s life. =)

In the first place, what do you mean by “soul”? (It can have poetic, mystical, metaphorical, even literal meanings…) If you mean by “soul,” a “thing”, I’m not very sure about it…

If you mean “life-force,” then traditional (Thomistic-Aristotelian) philosophy has always affirmed that every living being has this “soul” or “life-force” or “life-principle.” (That’s why, in the seminary, we used to laugh at Uthai, a Thai seminarian who vehemently argued that a stone has a soul. His argument: If the stone didn’t have soul, it wouldn’t be able to move when you throw or kick it.)

But if you’re a pantheist who believes that the universe is god, and this god is not an impersonal force (as opposed to a scientific kind of pantheism), then the soul/spirit is indeed present everywhere. Even in stones! The stone is god! The stone is alive! The stone has soul!

We can even go to the idea of reincarnation: if there is a soul, and there’s no permanent heaven or hell, then it’s quite logical to believe in reincarnation, until one so to say, goes back to the source (become Pure Consciousness).

As you can see, there are many possible permutations, so it can get quite muddled and confusing for someone who’s searching for absolute certainty.

But I do know of a certainty that really matters, the certainty of the heart. As Blaise Pascal would say, “The heart has reasons of its own, which reason itself doesn’t understand.”

Does it really matter whether there is a soul or not? I mean, does it help you live a good life?

If it does, then believe in it. If you find it quite useless, then dispose of it.

As for me, I’m a lying bastard, a mystic-poet, so I speak of the soul even when I don’t believe in it. Mwahaha! =D

I’d rather go for a drink, and get drunk with life, philosophy, and love!

best regards,
ian

Tags: Pantheism, Philosophy, Psychology, Soul, spirituality
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something I wrote in April, 2004. When I was still meditating regularly…

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Sitting On My Pain… Sitting With My Pain
by Michael Ian Lomongo

“The essence of meditation is nowness…it is not aimed at achieving a higher state or at following some theory or idea, but simply, without any object or ambition, trying to see what is here and now.”

– Chogyam Trungpa

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I. In a few more days, it will be six months since I’ve started doing sitting-meditation. Regularly. Two hours. Daily. An hour in the morning, and another one in the evening. Alright, there are days when (due to partying with friends) I get to sit for just an hour (and days when I don’t get to sit at all), but I’d say I’ve been pretty consistent in my practice.

For the longest time, I’ve been meaning to meditate. Problem was, I didn’t know how. Sure, I’ve encountered several books on meditation and had some general idea about what took place during the “practice” but it was all in some kind of a haze. The closest I’ve come to a meditation practice was journal writing (specifically, Julia Cameron’s “morning pages”). And even then, I just couldn’t discipline myself to write three pages everyday.

And then I read an article by Bela Lipat in the Inquirer about this 10-day meditation course, Vipassana, that was given for free (yey!). This was June 2003. The article mentioned that the next course would be given October of that same year. I kept the article and resolved to apply for the course.

Just before October came, I e-mailed Sr. Angelita Walker, RSCJ (who was responsible for bringing Vipassana to the Philippines) about my desire to join the course. She directed me to www.dhamma.org to read the code of conduct for those intending to join the course. There I found out that I’d have to keep “noble silence” (absolute silence), cut off communication with the “outside world,” refrain from reading, writing, intoxicating substances, and killing mosquitoes, eat vegetarian food, etc. And all these for the duration of the 10-day course.

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Tags: Life, Meditation, spirituality, Vipassana
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