Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Para Mama! (Para Nga!!!)


2009
01.10

Para Mama, Para Nga!!!
(isang monologo para sa bagong taon)

alay sa mga bwakanang files ko na nabura noong bisperas ng bwakanang bagong taon…

ni Body Dancer

Sampung taon na ang nakararaan ng una akong mag-odisyon para maging scholar ng Tanghalang Pilipino Actors’ Company. Mula sa mahigit limampung ininterbyu bago mag-odisyon, naiwan kaming kulang-kulang 20. Tatlong araw yung odisyon. Bawa’t araw, nababawasan kami. Matira matibay. Survival of the fittest. Darwinian natural selection. Selecta. Choose your own adventure.

Umabot ako sa pangatlong araw.

But ultimately failed to make the grade.

Almost made it. But didn’t.

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Christmas Hues (Blues?)


2008
12.25

Am reactivating my blog. It went down the first week of September after we got banned by the original host. For what reason, I don’t know. Most of the posts for August are gone because I wasn’t able to back up the uploaded files. Anyway, will do my best to re-post these pieces. In the meantime, here’s an old Christmas essay I wrote four years ago (with a few updates because, well, it is 2008).

best regards,

ian

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Christmas Hues (Blues?)
by Michael Ian Lomongo

“And so this is Christmas, and what have we done?”
- John Lennon, “Happy Christmas”

Four years ago, the Philippine Daily Inquirer showed this graph which showed that more and more Filipinos no longer feel that happy feeling that used to come with the Christmas season.

Of course, a lot has been written about the depression that comes with the holidays. That feeling of loneliness that just becomes heightened and aggravated because of all the hype, the sense of promise and expectation in this so-called season of love and redemption…

Everyone, at some point in his/her life, must have experienced just how that felt.

It’s as if your whole being is prepped up for an epiphany… a miracle… some magical transformation in your life… for God to reveal his/her face, or even just his/her name…

Maranatha… please, Lord, come.

Just some small miracle… something that would make the anxious hoping and waiting worthwhile…

But it just never came. It never comes.

Or, it probably came and went, without our noticing it.

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UNCONDITIONAL(?) LOVE


2008
07.31

I read a book on “Soto Zen,” and I encountered the names of Huineng and Shen-hsiu in its presentation of the historical origins of Zen. They were both students of the so-called Fifth Ancestor (Zen Patriarch). Huineng became the successor, the 6th ancestor.

“Shen-hsiu believed that all beings possessed the Buddha nature. However, he regarded delusions (Skt. klesa) as something real, teaching that they must be removed gradually through strenuous efforts. His school of Zen is therefore termed ‘gradual enlightenment through real practice.’ The Zen of Hui-neng, on the other hand, holds that the Buddha Heart, which all beings naturally possess, is an indivisible union of the wisdom of enlightenment and meditation found in religious observances. Illusion and affliction are originally non-existent. Therefore, religious observances cannot be regarded as merely a means to rid oneself of illusion, but must be thought of as a practice of enlightenment, or enlightenment in practice. In Zen we call this ‘sudden enlightenment – wonderful practice’ (J. tongomyoshu).”

Anyway, to continue with my rambling:

My research into the meaning of love, of course, led me to the Greek (eros/philia), Christian (eros/agape), and romantic (chivalric/troubadourian) ideas on love. At its core, love (whatever its form/manifestation) involves affirmation or approval or the simple recognition of value/beauty/good. (There is this play “Metamorphoses” that is a collection of Greek myths – based on Ovid’s work of the same title – that we read at Phil. Playhouse. I loved it. It’s very poetic, and I’d say, if executed well, could be a very moving meditation on love, in its various forms. I’d even say that the whole play is a prayer of sorts.)

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RAMBLINGS OF A NOT-YET-EQUANIMOUS MIND


2008
07.31

From an autografitti post… November 6, 2008.

————————————————————-

Hi peeps!

Hope you’re all doing fine!

In lieu of writing a clear presentation of what has been preoccupying my mind these days, I will be starting a series of rambling thoughts on certain topics (love, egoism, nietzsche, buddhism, christianity, power, passion, compassion, etc.) that have held me captive for sometime.

The stimulus, of course, is Buddhism and the Vipassana meditation course I just took.

My interest in Eastern religions and mysticism probably arose when, as a college seminarian, I took this course in Indian philosophy. I was simply fascinated by the stories, the immensity of it all, and the apparent contradictions contained within a philosophical system. I practically remembered almost without effort most of what we were taught in that particular subject. (Mostly basic concepts like “atman,” “brahman,” “maya,” etc.)

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Anicca*: This Too Shall Pass


2008
07.27

Anicca*: This Too Shall Pass
(Strains of a Brewing Song in My Mind, In Honor of Friedrich “Superman” Nietzsche and Siddharta Gautama “Buddha”)

* Pali word (pronounced “anicha”) meaning “impermanent, ephemeral, changing”

I have long been searching for answers
To the questions that nag my troubled mind…
I have long been seeking the healing
That would ease the pains of my restless heart…
And I grew older, but none the wiser.
Yes I grew older, but none the better.
And so it came to pass.

I craved for life, I craved for beauty,
I craved for the lasting joy that’d end the misery.
If only life were always good
If only life could stay this way, then maybe I could,
Yes I would, find calm.
Then maybe I could… learn to love
This world, this place, this life.
And so it came to pass.

“You’ve got to seize the moment
for it shall surely pass.”
And so it came to pass.

Then one day, I had this experience
It seemed to me the greatest moment of my life
I felt so happy, I felt so sad
Yes it was crazy, like mad
But I felt so strong I could love the world, and I mean everyone!
I felt so strong I could take whatever life’s got to offer
Be it pain… be it joy… be it sadness… be it love.
I smiled… I cried… and gave thanks.
And then I realized: this, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

I wanted the moment to last forever.
I wanted it to stay (Please stay).
But if only for that moment,
I’d be willing to take whatever has to come!
And so it came to pass.
This, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

Then one night, I had this experience.
It seemed to be the most painful moment of my life.
I felt so angry… stewing in my misery…
And through gritted teeth, it feeelt… sooo lonely.
And how I wanted the moment to just fucking go away
But it wouldn’t let me have my way.
I wanted it to end… I wanted it all to end.
And I cried… and I smiled… and whispered:
This, this too shall pass.
This, this too shall pass.

My love for life compels me to say:
This, this too shall pass!
If I wanted a moment forever,
If I wanted forever in a moment
I must see the moment arise and pass away.
This, this too shall pass.
My joy, my pain, my love, my life.
This, this too shall pass.
Seize the moment, seize the day,
Let it go, let it pass away.
This, this too shall pass.

This too shall pass.

Michael Ian Lomongo
October 24, 2003
Vipassana Meditation Course
Sico Farm, Cavite

Lamay: Pakikiramay, Buhay, Kamatayan


2008
07.24

isang eulohiya para kay Ramon Jose Leyran, sinulat noong Octubre 10, 2003.

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Lamay: Pakikiramay, Buhay, Kamatayan
ni Michael Ian Lomongo

Kung di ako nagkakamali, nabuo raw ni Wency Cornejo ang kantang “Habang May Buhay” sa isang lamay. Kakaiba nga ang lamay ng mga pinoy: sa mga probinsiya, may pasugal (madyong, baraha, trembe), may inuman pa sa iba, may mga laro (juego de prenda), may kantahan, kwentuhan, tugtugan, may pakain din (kape, tinapay, biskwit, sopas, kendi, atbp.). Para ngang lagi tayong naghahanap ng dahilan para magkaroon ng selebrasyon.

Minsan, meron akong kababata at kaklase sa elementaryang namatay. Malalaki na kami nang maaksidente si Rhey sa motorsiklo. Natural, nagkita-kita sa lamay ang mga dating magkakaklaseng bihira nang magkasama-sama. Meron din kaming kaklaseng nasa ibang bansa noon. Tumawag siya (si Elna) sa telepono at nakibalita sa isa sa amin, at ang sabi niya: “Magkakasama kayo d’yan? E ‘di ang saya-saya n’yo!”

Hindi na siguro kakatwang makakita ng mga taong tumatawa habang tumutulo ang luha sa mga lamay. May lungkot dahil sa pangungulila sa isang kasama o kaibigang hindi na makakahuntahan o makakabiruan. May saya dahil may pasasalamat sa magagandang ala-alang pinagsaluhan ng magkakaibigan.

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Trojan War, Inner Peace


2008
07.04

Thoughts on “Troy,” May 25, 2004…

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“I’ll tell you a secret… The gods envy us. Because we are mortal. You will never be as beautiful as you are now. We will not be here again.”

– Achilles, to the mugged, bruised Briseias, in “Troy”

Saw Troy last Sunday. Liked it. Even with the abundant use of CGI (as my friend Jojo points out.)

It can be retitled “Achilles.” Or the “The Life and Times of Achilles.”

I’m fascinated by the film because:

1) No matter what his critics say, Brad Pitt is just undaunted by taking on Herculean challenges. (A female teacher of mine once said that Pitt will never become a good actor because of his good looks.)

2) The scriptwriter did his research! He had a good grasp of Greek culture and philosophy (the love for spectacle, “agon” or contest, “arete” or excellence, immortality through the preservation of one’s name, and the sense of piety vis-a-vis the sense of pride in human achievements that easily becomes prey to “hubris”) and mythology. (You have a tight scene in Phtia because here we discover several things: the cunning of Odysseus, the martial expertise of Achilles, the brashness of Patroclus, and the almost paternal love of Achilles for Patroclus.) Plus, the writer demythologized the mythology. I’d like to read The Iliad just to see how many changes and adaptations he did in the screenplay. (For instance, Agamemnon was killed by Clytemnestra, his wife. Was the Briseias (Perseias?) character/love-interest of Achilles an invention? I’ve a suspicion too that the Agamemnon-Achilles spat was cooked up by the writer. Of course, I’m not that well-acquainted with greek mythology. Haven’t read Iliad yet.)

3) You have a well-thought out, very human(ized) characterization of Achilles. (My good friend Paolo comments that Achilles and Paris are two sides of the same coin. They both earn their redemption towards the end. Paris, by developing his courage; Achilles, by developing his compassion. Paris though is not as sympathetic as Achilles. (Is this due to a failure of acting or script-writing? Uh-oh, I can almost hear the shouts of protest by all those women Legolas-fans.) He also says that the contrast between Hector and Achilles should have been greatly emphasized. Hector is the noblest character in the story, even nobler than the gods. The inner struggle between his sense of duty and fraternal love should have been more apparent. (It’s either a problem of acting, writing, or direction… Well, after all, this is Achilles’s film.)

4) Great choreography, especially in the Achilles-Hector showdown!

5) Laughed out really loud at that scene where Achilles throws the towel at Briseias’s face in exasperation.

6) At first, I didn’t find Diane Kruger (Helen) that beautiful. As I gazed at her face, I slowly did find her beautiful. Classic beauty. Of course, the film tells us that, in all probability, even if Helen were not that beautiful, ships would still be launched to retrieve her because of the wounded machismo of Menelaus and the unbridled ambition of Agamemnon.

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Sitting On My Pain… Sitting With My Pain


2008
06.21

something I wrote in April, 2004. When I was still meditating regularly…

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Sitting On My Pain… Sitting With My Pain
by Michael Ian Lomongo

“The essence of meditation is nowness…it is not aimed at achieving a higher state or at following some theory or idea, but simply, without any object or ambition, trying to see what is here and now.”

– Chogyam Trungpa

I. In a few more days, it will be six months since I’ve started doing sitting-meditation. Regularly. Two hours. Daily. An hour in the morning, and another one in the evening. Alright, there are days when (due to partying with friends) I get to sit for just an hour (and days when I don’t get to sit at all), but I’d say I’ve been pretty consistent in my practice.

For the longest time, I’ve been meaning to meditate. Problem was, I didn’t know how. Sure, I’ve encountered several books on meditation and had some general idea about what took place during the “practice” but it was all in some kind of a haze. The closest I’ve come to a meditation practice was journal writing (specifically, Julia Cameron’s “morning pages”). And even then, I just couldn’t discipline myself to write three pages everyday.

And then I read an article by Bela Lipat in the Inquirer about this 10-day meditation course, Vipassana, that was given for free (yey!). This was June 2003. The article mentioned that the next course would be given October of that same year. I kept the article and resolved to apply for the course.

Just before October came, I e-mailed Sr. Angelita Walker, RSCJ (who was responsible for bringing Vipassana to the Philippines) about my desire to join the course. She directed me to www.dhamma.org to read the code of conduct for those intending to join the course. There I found out that I’d have to keep “noble silence” (absolute silence), cut off communication with the “outside world,” refrain from reading, writing, intoxicating substances, and killing mosquitoes, eat vegetarian food, etc. And all these for the duration of the 10-day course.

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Pantheism, Underwears, Coffee, Bread, Tea, and Everything in Between


2008
06.15

Pantheism, Underwears, Coffee, Bread, Tea, and Everything in Between

Whenever someone makes the wisecrack that pantheism is the love for underwears, I retort, “No, on the contrary, I, a true-blue pantheist, hate lingerie. In fact, I have this great urge to discard it whenever I see it on a sexy female body.” LOL

Token reference for nerds: “pantheism” comes from the greek words “pan” (everything) and “theos” (god). Thus, pantheism is the “belief that everything is god, or conversely, that god is everything.” I don’t know exactly how “pantheism” is related to “deism” (which Rizal practiced, as gleaned from his exchange of letters with Fr. Pastells while exiled in Dapitan) but I have a suspicion that “deism” probably still sees God as transcendent from the universe while pantheism sees God as immanent to the universe.

“Pan” and “te” are also spanish for “bread” and “tea.”

Anong konek?

After one has removed the underwear, one has “coffee.” Once satiated with “coffee,” then one can have bread and tea for breakfast.

=)

Became a pantheist by way of Nietzsche and Buddhism/Hinduism.

If there is such a thing as a Nietzschean Buddhist, that’s what I am right now.

best regards,
panth-ian of the gods

On Chain Letters and Forwarded E-mails


2008
06.14

Of course, almost everyone is familiar with chain letters and forwarded emails. There would be the usual exhortation to pass it on to a certain number of people for good luck and the warning not to ignore the message for the bad luck that would be its consequence.

I used to forward a lot of political emails (mosly anti-GMA stuff) that I was dubbed a “spammer” in certain circles. But once, I received a forwarded email that I liked and forwarded to others as well. It was about being grateful for the inconveniences and small misfortunes that happen to us because of their (often) unperceived value to us in the greater scheme of things. But what really caught my attention in that e-mail was the last paragraph:

“Pass this on to someone else, if you’d like. There is NO LUCK attached. If you delete this, it’s okay: God’s Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail.”

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