Trackback to May 29, 2008. To read about it, go to this link: http://xn3cts.com/one-sorry-horse/
One Sorry Horse, a.k.a. Balinguyngoy
Archive for the ‘Life’ Category
A Year Without Facebook
2012
01.10
01.10
Can I do it? Can I spend a year without Facebook?
My cousin Aeon influnced me to deactivate my Facebook account. I knocked on her door. Asked her to drink with me. I felt depressed. I needed some drinking buddies. Nica also joined us.
I deactivated my Facebook account on January 9, 2012. I hope to reactivate it on January 9, 2013.
I need to take back my life from Facebook.
I’m gonna miss facebook. I’m gonna miss the news updates from friends near and far. I’m gonna miss “stalking” some friends. I’m gonna miss the information that’s readily available. I’m gonna miss the audition notices.
But I need to take stock of my life. I need to write. I need to edit. I need to write a Fucking Novel.
It’s long overdue.
Bye, Facebook.
Till we meet again. Hasta la vista.
Dear Carmi
2011
11.16
11.16
November 11, 2011
Dear Carmi,
Hindi ko alam kung paano sisimulan ‘tong sulat na ‘to. I’ve never written you a letter when you were still here with us. And now, I’m writing you a letter that you’ll never get to read. And so, perhaps, I’m writing this more for myself… for our family, relatives, and friends. Seven and Alodia are right here beside me, as usual, nangungulit na naman, asking me questions like “Bakit ka nagsusulat para ke Ate Carmi e patay na siya?”
Tama nga naman.
Not having any clear and satisfying reasons why I am doing this, I keep on writing… typing, if you will. Today is Errol’s birthday. It’s also the second anniversary of my “rebirthday,” when I flatlined two years ago. Since that fateful day, I’ve always thought that I was a bit braver… owing to the fact that I’ve already “died,” and that just a few moments before I passed out, I’ve accepted, perhaps reluctantly, but still accepted the ineluctable reality that that was it. I was revived, but I’ve come to realize with greater clarity that at any given moment, I could die. Just like that.
And so, I thought, I should prepare for that moment. That moment of death and dying. But this time, I’d like to welcome her as a friend or lover, not reluctantly, but with, corny as it may seem, “open arms.” And so, with a kind of grim determination, I started to make an effort to cultivate in myself that readiness to face death should she come again unexpectedly to fetch me.
Oh, but life and death are full of surprises, and they threw me a wallop that almost unhinged me. Death did come again unexpectedly, not for me, but for you.
I’m still, as Mommy and all who love you, coming to grips with your being no longer here with us. Sometimes, I think of you as just being away for a very long vacation in some far away island with a beautiful beach, much like the one you’ve been dreaming of just a few months ago.
Ate Li told us that she dreamt of seeing boxes with letters on them arranged so as to read: “Kuya Ian, Kaysarap isiping matatanggap mo rin… Carmi.” Oh I will, Carmi. Balang araw, matatanggap ko rin. It’s hard. But I’ll get there. It’s hard because I have so many questions to ask you, so many things to tell you and I don’t know if these things will ever reach you. I hope they do. Haha, this is even harder than unrequited love, not being able to communicate with a loved one who loves you back. (Eto na naman yung mga pamangkin mo, ginugulo ako.)
Once, I came home tired and wanted to sleep. You were already sick then. Nakahiga ka non sa kama ng mga Mommy. Nahiga ako sa tabi mo. Wala akong t-shirt and you touched my back. Sabi mo, “Ang lamig, angsarap hawakan.” I didn’t reply then but I thought of transferring some of my health, my life-energy to you through that touch, wishing that you would get well, get better faster. (Juan would joke later after I told him this story: “Baka ikaw pinapasahan nya ng energy.”) I was thinking then, even if my life expectancy is cut short, just as long as yours is extended.
Several weeks later, beside you at the mortuary, I told you I’m willing to have my life taken away just to have you back. After all, I’ve already died. And I still think it every now and then, my life for yours.
But as it is… as it is… here I am, writing this letter. And you… there, somewhere, perhaps in some far away island with a beautiful beach. And I’m thinking… perhaps, in some parallel universe, I did die and was never revived on that fateful day on November 11, 2009. And you’re the one writing me a letter similar to this one. In that parallel universe, you’d probably get married and have lots of beautiful children, and grow old to be a doting grandmother to your beautiful grandchildren, as Mommy is to our nieces.
Well, I hope to see you someday… and hug you, and talk to you… Perhaps, we already are doing this, in some parallel (perhaps more properly, perpendicular) universe…
But know that in all these multiverses, I love you.
We love you.
Carmi. Imrac. Carmechay. Taciturn’s Blood. Kendankill… Carmina.
Love,
Kuya Ian
Panimulang Tala Ukol sa “Eros at Agape” ni Emerson “Ogie” Salmorin
2011
10.15
10.15
Panimulang Tala Ukol sa “Eros at Agape” ni Emerson “Ogie” Salmorin
Noong una kong makilala si Ogie, nahinuha ko agad na isa itong taong ubod ng libog. “Bang-libog!” ika nga. Patunay ang malimit na temang tinatalakay ng kanyang mga akdang sining, mga hubad na katawan na kung minsan ay eksaherado pa ang maseselang bahagi. Bukod dito, giliw na giliw ako sa kanyang likhang awit na pinamagatang “Ang Aking Ting-a-ling.” Muli, indikasyon ng isang taong “bang-libog.”
Ngunit huwag sanang masamain ang aking pagturan at pagtingin kay Ogie bilang isang taong “malibog.” Sa katunayan, may kanta dati si DJ Alvaro na ang tipo raw niyang lalaki ay yung maginoo pero medyo bastos. Hindi ako gaanong sang-ayon sa kabalintunaang ipinahahayag dito. Higit na katanggap-tanggap sa akin yung “maginoo at ubod ng libog.” Ang kabastusan kasi ay nagpapahiwatig ng kawalan o kakulangan ng paggalang. Sa kabilang banda, ang pagkakaroon ng libog (kahit pa siksik, liglig, at umaapaw) ay hindi agad-agad na maitutumbas sa kakulangan o kawalan ng respeto.
Sa eksibit na pinamagatang “Eros at Agape,” muling binabalikan ni Ogie ang mga hubad na katawan bilang paglalarawan ng iba-ibang anyo at antas ng pag-ibig at pagmamahal. Nariyan ang “Eros,” masidhing pagnanasa, pagnanais, pag-ibig, libog… Nguni’t hindi rin naman pinagwalang-bahala ang “Philia” (pagkakaibigan) at “Agape,” pagpapahalaga, pagmamahal, pagkalinga, pagkakaloob ng sarili hanggang sukdulan…
Sa pagkukuro ng mga dalubhasa sa larangan ng pag-unawa ng pag-ibig at pagmamahal, mahirap tahasang iwalay ang eros at agape sa buhay ng tao. Dahil tayo ay tao, lagi nang may kakulangan at pangangailangan hindi lamang ang ating mga katawan kundi maging ang ating pagkatao. At dahil dito, laging mababahiran ng eros. Ang eros ay hindi lang kahinaan ng tao; kaganapan niya rin ito. At kahit eros ay may eros din (masidhing pagnanasa) na igpawan ang kanyang pagiging eros lamang… upang tumulay, manganak at magbigay-buhay… sa agape.
Sa madaling salita (kahit pa may kindat at paglalaro ng dila): “Hubu!”
- Michael Ian Lomongo, Setyembre 25, 2011
Bildungsroman, Kunstlerroman, and The Age of The New Wave
2011
06.24
06.24
Bildungsroman, Kunstlerroman, and The Age of The New Wave
(March 14, 2007, from my old friendster blog:
http://xn3ct.blog.friendster.com/2007/03/bildungsroman-kunstlerroman-and-the-age-of-the-new-wave/ )
Yesterday, I got to watch “Live Aid” (July 13, 1985). Brought me back to my growing up years… I saw Sting performing with some saxophonist named Marsalis (probably the brother of Wynton Marsalis, a trumpeteer who came to the Philippines in 1998, got to watch him live at the CCP). They played “Roxanne… You don’t have to put on the red light…” Saw Bob Geldof (he who organized Band-Aid and Live Aid) of the Boomtown Rats singing my favorite “I Don’t Like Mondays.” Saw Sade singing “Your Love is King.” Saw one of my idols Bono sing “Sunday, Bloody Sunday” and “Bad.” He was wearing what looked like a military suit with vinyl pants and knee-length boots. Wow! He looked like a conquering general!
Tangna! Wala lang. Made me think of the time I was in high school, an innocent teen-age boy of thirteen/fourteen, starting to listen to Depeche Mode, China Crisis, Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet, and XB102 (anyone remembers that radio station? circa ‘84-85… way, way before NU107)… A young seminarian having a difficult time reconciling my growing appreciation of rock music and the lectures we’d be having from our prefect of discipline, saying that rock and roll is the “music of the devil.”
But what has this got to do with “bildungsroman” and “kunstlerroman”?
Of course, you’re quite familiar with J.D. Salinger’s “Catcher in the Rye.” That’s an example of a “bildungsroman.” If I’m not mistaken, it means a novel that tackles the coming of age of the protagonist. I never liked the protagonist of “Catcher in the Rye” (What’s his name again?) Holden Caulfield. He seemed to me like a spoiled brat. Well, if not spoiled, a brat just the same. An angry brat who wants to take on the world for its supposed “fakery,” “inauthenticity,” or something like that. Ewan ko, it’s just me.
On the other hand, I love Leonard Cohen’s “The Favourite Game.” Also a bildungsroman. But more properly, a kuntslerroman. (The words “bildung” and “kunstler” are German for “culture” and “artist.” Yata.) It’s about the coming of age of a poet. The introduction to the book says that it’s probably semi-autobiographical. Leonard Cohen has a deep bass for voice and I think he’s released his recorded poems/songs. (I heard one, I forget the title… something about “something coming.”) In one interview, he said that his roshi (he practices zen sitting meditation) told him to “be more sad” when he was relating about his experience of sadness.
Most of Hermann Hesse’s novels are bildungsroman: Steppenwolf, Siddharta, The Glass Bead Game, Demian, and one, Narcissus and Goldmund, could be classified as a kunstlerroman. (That’s probably the reason why a lot of teenagers and college guys with a philosophical bent love Hesse.)
Which brings me back to why I thought of all these stuff… I read sometime in January a cute little novel, a bildungsroman, by some guy named Stephen Chbosky (not too sure about the name). I borrowed it from my cousin Aeon. It’s titled “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.”
Unlike the hero of “Catcher in the Rye,” the protagonist here doesn’t rage against the so-called inauthenticity of the world. Instead, he finds himself crying for a number of reasons. He’s also precocious, and yes, a little fucked up in the head.
He breaks down towards the end of the novel. Won’t tell you the reason.
It’s a compassionate novel. And the insights of the hero are quite okay. Reflecting on his being “fucked up” inside, he realizes that you cannot blame the past (whatever has happened to you in your childhood) for your present difficulties and hang-ups. Well, yes, the past has certainly a definite bearing and influence on who (what kind of person) you are. But you cannot use it as a scapegoat once you do realize its influence on your personality.
And of course, the novel talks about “mix tapes” (in the age of ipods, who remembers about casette tapes and “mix tapes”?).
Wala lang. With a certain wistfulness, I wonder: What if I had a wider exposure to the music that I loved and love until now? Would I be a better person? A better artist?
“Keep me searchin’ for a heart of gold… and I’m getting old.” (Neil Young, “Heart of Gold”)
Wala lang. Am getting old.
“Well, we were younger then and the days were long and slow/ But were we wiser then? I couldn’t say, I wouldn’t know…” (The Chameleons, “Tears”)
But as good old Fritz (Nietzsche) would say: “Was that life? Then, once again! Da capo!”
From the beginning!
best regards,
ian
tugon sa bukas na liham para sa mga “bleeding hearts daw”
2010
10.30
10.30
isang tugon sa bukas na liham
mga dating kamanlalakbay sa seminaryo na ngayo’y mga pari na o padre de pamilya, at sa mga tulad kong single pa rin, at sa lahat ng mga kapatid at kapuso(d) na Pilipino sa Pilipinas man o sa labas ng bansa, kagabi, pagbukas ko ng inbox ko, nabasa ko ang isang mensahe na likha ng isang middle-class na nagbabayad ng buwis. iniuukol niya ito kina cory, mga maka-kaliwa, media, politiko, at ibang “mga bleeding hearts” na sa kanyang pahiwatig ay gusto lang i-bleed dry ang bayan natin.
nalungkot ako. gusto kong maluha. hindi ako mapakali. gusto kong sumagot. ganito na ba kababa ang ating narating? have we come so jaded that we fail to see the good intentions that come with what may be pathetic attempts to clean up this country?
pero natulog na lang ako. kasi, meron din naman akong gagawin. middle-class din ako. at kung hindi man ako nakapagbabayad ng buwis (na babasahin bilang tanda ng aking pagiging walang-silbi, walang pakinabang na mamamayan na mahilig lang manggulo at hilahin pababa ang ating bansa), iyon ay dahil kakarimpot at hindi regular ang aking kita bilang aktor, manunulat, at iba
pa.
may deadline ako. kailangan kong sumulat ng review (o analysis) ng zsazsa zaturnah ze muzikal para sa itinatayo naming art paper. wala akong kikitain sa
gagawin kong ito dahil susugal kami. habang wala pang kita, for the love of muna.
ipinalangin ko na sana may sumagot sa bukas (raw) na liham na higit na magpapakita ng pagakabukas ng isipan, puso, kalooban.
salamat, enteng romano. napaka-eloquent. mabuhay ka! (kapangalan mo ang aming patron na si san vicente de paul, patron ng pagkakawang-gawa…)
ifinorward ko na sa inyo. sana basahin nyo.
dangan lang, at nabuksan ko rin ang mga komento ng mga dati kong kasamahan sa seminaryo. at napaiyak na nga ako.
ang sama-sama ng loob ko.
mabuhay ka rin ferdie maglalang at ipinagtanggol mo ang media, hindi lahat ng mamamahayag ay binulag na ng salapi at impluwensiya. salamat ferdie.
ang sama-sama ng loob ko.
ang sama-sama ng loob ko, jeff. ganon na ba talaga? lahat maiuuwi na lang sa pera-pera?
totoo, lahat tayo gustong kumita. pero hanggang don na lang ba?
ang sama-sama ng loob ko. at uulitin ko ang narinig kong binasang papel sa isang konperensya sa pilosopiya sa ateneo ilang taon na ang nakakaraan. mula yata ito
sa liham ng isang aktibista sa kanyang mga magulang: ”bakit kailangang laging mauwi ang lahat sa pera?”
Why does it all have to about the money?
wala namang masama sa pagkakaroon ng pera, sa pagiging mayaman.
ako, gusto kong yumaman. gusto kong magka-kotse (gusto kong matutong mag-drive.) gusto kong kung makiki-cr ako sa starbucks, hindi ako haharangan ng security guard at sasabihan akong kailangan ko munang bumili ng overpriced coffee nila bago makagamit ng cr.
pero minsan ‘yang yaman, kung hindi man nakakabulag, nakakalabo ng paningin.
dahil nakakotse ka, baka hindi mo mararanasang sumabit sa jeep o maghabol ng fx, o mangamba sa tuwing me nagbabantang strike.
dahil naka-cable o satellite dish ka, baka hindi mo napupulsuhan ang pinapanood ng masa sa free tv tulad ng wowowee at “jewel in the palace.”
dahil naglalaro ka ng golf, baka hindi mo napupuntahan ’yung mga bilyaran sa kanto o pa-dart-an sa mga eskinita.
baka masyado ka nang naging komportable sa air-conditioned rooms mo, o toreng garing mo, kapiling ang mga jewels mo sa loob ng iyong palace.
subukan mong maglakad minsan, sumakay uli ng jeep o bus na hindi aircon, masdan ‘yung mga batang kalye na namamalimos at marahil bigyan ng kendi o tinapay dahil ayaw mong kunsintihin sa pamamagitan ng pagbibigay ng pera ang kanilang pagdodroga.
subukan mong kausapin ‘yung mas tahimik pa sa’yo, dahil wala silang computer o pang-internet connection.
kapag pumanig ka ba sa masa, na ang ilan, ang taglay pa lang na pangarap ay maipangtawid ‘yung araw-araw na pagkain at pamumuhay, komunista ka na?
paano na ‘yung tinuro sa atin sa seminaryo? ‘yung aral ni enteng (san vicente de paul)?
kung komunista ang magsumikap na magkaroon ng malasakit sa makahulugan at harinawa, totohanang pagbabago sa ating lipunan… e marami pala akong
kaibigang komunista… baka ako komunista na rin, hindi ko lang alam…
ano ba ang kulay ng balat ng komunista? (pula?)
ano ba ang amoy ng utot ng komunista?
pero mabuti pang komunista kesa pasista!
si enteng (san vicente de paul), komunista?
ako, simpleng mamamayan din lang naman ko. gusto ko ang aral ng mga awit nina joey ayala, gary granada, buklod, the jerks, the wuds.
gaya nyo, gusto ko ang kapakanan ng ating inang bayang pilipinas.
hindi pa rin naman ako nakakasama sa mga rally sa ngayon. pero ginagawa ko kung ano pa lang ang aking kaya. mag-forward ng emails kontra gloria. magsuot ng t-shirt na anti-gloria.
isa sa mga pinanghihinayangan ko noong 1986, ay ang pagkakakulong ko sa seminaryo pebrero 22-25. 2nd year high school ako at hindi pinayagan ang minor seminary na sumama sa mga theologians at major seminarians. hindi ako nakapunta sa edsa 1. pero kapiling ako sa diwa. nang ipakita ni fr. lopez ang headline ng inquirer na “marcos flees!”, nagsasayaw din ako sa pasilyo ng seminaryo.
gaya nyo, hindi pa rin ako pinanghihinawaan ng loob sa pilipino.
ang ganda-ganda ng kalooban ng pinoy, bakit ang pangit-pangit ng ating gobyerno?
have we come so jaded that we really think that we can do no better than gma?
tumututol ako. pagtutol mula sa kaibuturan ng kalooban ko.
we can do better. let’s not be indifferent, or apathetic, or resigned to Gloria. Let Gloria Resign instead.
si zsazsa zaturnah hindi lang nagwagi dahil sa superpowers nya. nagwagi siya dahil, tinulungan at sinamahan siya nina didi, dodong, fr. bernie, at aling
britney.
“wala namang mangyayari eh.”
meron! kung kikilos tayo. ipahayag mo ang damdamin mo.
subukan mong magtanong-tanong, magmasid, makiramdam.
ang sagwa-sagwa ng pinaggagagawa ng ating gobyerno.
nakakalungkot dahil sa kabila ng mga saloobing aking naririnig, ‘yun nga… kailangang kumayod, magtrabaho, maghanap-buhay… kumita ng pera…
kailangan bang lagi na lang iuwi ang lahat… manatili at magtapos sa pera?
ganon na tayo ka-desperado.
wag naman sana…
mula sa kaibuturan ng aking puso,
ian lomongo
—
sobrang kapangyarihan
sobrang kayamanan
sobrang katakawan
ilan sa mamamayan
ang nasisigawan
“mga ganid! mga ganid!”
marami ang nagpapanggap
na makabayan
gumamit pa ng salitang kalayaan
ang demokrasya at kalayaan
ay nakasalalay sa ating kakayahan
na pigilin at kontrolin
ang pagnanasa at mga gawain
e ano ba sa tingin mo
ang magpapasaya sa’yo?
ito ba ang karangyaan sa pamumuhay,
maraming pera, magandang bahay, magarang kotse,
magandang asawa, sikat na sikat kasi may pangalan
pero NAKALIMUTAN ANG DIYOS…
- tHE wUDS
—-
wag kalimutan ang katapatan at katotohanan
wag kalimutan ang katarungan
wag kalimutan ang delicadeza
wag kalimutan ang palabra de honor
wag kalimutan ang kalayaan
wag kalimutan ang Diyos!
Those Were the Days of Black and White Protests
2010
10.25
10.25
Mga kababayan at kapuso(d),
>
This is one of the messages that I’ve forwarded that has generated some “piping-hot” (like some coffee) reactions.
>
from jun s., something like this: “ang labo! ba’t hindi na lang ipunin ang perang gagastusin dito at gamitin sa mas makabuluhang paraan?”
from lena c., something like this: “why starbucks, of all places? your protest action is so cono…”
from ogie b., something like this: “marketing director siguro to ng starbucks…”
from allan m., see end of my message.
from ate lea: “puede ba sa starbox?”
>
I forwarded the message because I thought some people would be interested in finding out one of the hundred ways of skinning a cat, or, in this case, ousting GMA from her stolen office.
>
Personally, I don’t like Starbucks. In the first place, I’d rather drink beer. Or, if we’re talking about something hot like coffee, I’d rather have tea, my dear. Pero puede rin naman coffee. Paminsan-minsan, pag me mga kaibigan akong gustong mag-Starbucks at outvoted ako, napapa-Starbucks din. (Eto, e pag may pera ako…)
>
A cup of starbucks coffee would probably get me 3 bottles of beer during happy hour in most bars… or two red horse grande… pero no, I’m not an alcoholic. (Stage 1: Denial… or is it, stage 2?).
>
My proposed mass action: Taho! Maglilibre ako ng taho (yung tiglilimang pisong cup lang, ha? That’s around 20 cups of taho for a cup of Starbucks coffee), tapos pag ubos na, we’ll all say “Gloria, all the way down!”
>
best regards,
ian
—
From: “Allan S. Manalo”
Subject: Re: Black Friday Bulletin #1 – Details of Flash Protest for March 3
I admire the organization of this and I really love the flash mob concept, but this particular task has got to me the lamest I’ve ever heard of. Are you sure that Starbucks is not up to this? I mean, really. You are actually instructing people to “buy a drink.” If you read up on flash mobs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_mob) no one goes to a place and spends money.
===
— “Vicente R. Romano III” <enteng@HealOurLand.ph>
wrote:
> To: <elagda-forum@yahoogroups.com>,
> <elagda-makati@yahoogroups.com>,
> <elagda-ortigas@yahoogroups.com>,
> <moral-majority@yahoogroups.com>,
> <Moral-Majority-Forum@yahoogroups.com>
> From: “Vicente R. Romano III”
> <enteng@HealOurLand.ph>
> Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2006 20:47:38 +0800
> Subject: [Moral-Majority] Fw: Black Friday Bulletin
> #1 – Details of Flash Protest for March 3
>
>
>
>
> Designated time and place of flash protest for March 3:
> Any Starbucks Cafe, 6 to 7 PM
>
> Plan of action:
> 1) Wear black
> 2) You and your friends proceed to any Starbucks Cafe near you anytime between 6 to 7 pm
> 3) Buy a drink. Each person should queue up at the counter, instead of just one ordering for the group.
> 4) After getting your drink, take a seat or just stand up outside the cafe and hang out for about 30 mins.
> 5) When your group decides it’s time to leave, someone should give the cue and everybody should do the “thumbs down” sign
> 6) Disperse as peacefully as you came in
>
> Suggested preparations:
> 1) Invite as many friends, or officemates, as you can
> 2) If you’re an employer or a manager, invite all your subordinates to join you. Offer to “treat” them, if you can afford it.
> 3) Agree to meet in a place (not Starbucks), or if you’re from the same office, arrange for carpooling
> 4) From the meeting place, proceed to Starbucks as a group. This will have more impact than just agreeing to meet at Starbucks individually
5) If you’re staying in a city where there is no Starbucks, any other “cafe” or restaurant will do.
>
> Forward this message to as many friends, relatives, colleagues, and egroups. I’ve also included below a brief description of the Black Friday Protest Movement, so those receiving your forwarded mail and hearing this for the first time will understand what we’re trying to accomplish.
>
> Let’s paint Starbucks BLACK on Friday.
>
> God bless,
>
> enteng
>
——————————————————————————–\
——————————-
> BLACK FRIDAY – A NEW FORM OF PROTEST
>
>
> The Black Friday Protest Movement was launched by eLagda on March 1 to give professionals, students, businessmen, and other sectors a venue to express their protest against the continuing and escalating acts of repression of the GMA administration as manifested in its series of proclamations – CPR, EO464, and PP 1017 – all designed to curtail basic rights and oppress the people.
>
>
> Patterned after the flash mob concept, the Black Friday Protest calls on people to gather at a designated time and place every Friday wearing a black attire as a symbol of protest. There will be no programs or speeches. Instead, people will be given specific instructions on what to do, and the whole exercise should last about 30 minutes at most. It’s safe, non-confrontational, and within the bounds of the law, even under a repressive one like PP 1017. The mere “flash” gathering of the people is the expression of protest.
>
>
>
> Where will people get instructions?
>
>
>
> Details of the Black Friday Protest action for the week will be published at its blogsite -> www.BlackFridayProtest.blogspot.com every Wednesday evening. Those who would like to receive instructions directly can also subscribe to the movement’s bulletin service by sending a blank email to BlackFridayProtest-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
>
>
A Letter to Sands
2010
10.17
10.17
jan. 11, 2006
>
hi sands,
>
that was macbeth himself who said that (“out, out brief candle…”) in his monologue, after learning of lady macbeth’s death (“tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow/ creeps in this petty pace from day to day…”). you were thinking about lady macbeth’s other monologue with the “out, out damned spot” (or something like that) when she tries to wash out the imagined stains of blood from the killing of duncan.
>
yeah, it’s that time of year when thinking about death and life, and its meaning and worth becomes heightened. finally read marquez’s “a hundred years of solitude” and jeanette winterson’s “the powerbook” and “the world and other places” during the holidays and alternated between joy and depression.
>
i told someone that i’ve been in a depressive state for about two years now… that may not be entirely true. it’s probably more of frequently alternating between states of joy and sadness/depression.
>
yes, all human creation could be seen as an attempt to overcome the destruction of death. we will all die and be forgotten anyway. so why bother at all?
>
“ars longa, vita brevis.” so they say. “art is long, life is short.”
but even works of art, no matter how monumental, no matter how seemingly eternal, will suffer the ravages of time.
>
time devours all his children.
>
why bother at all?
>
because……………………………..
>
best regards,
ian
tula, sabon, at bula
2010
10.05
10.05
tula, sabon, at bula
(para kay marielle)
>
salamat sa sabon
binalot sa kahon
regalong akma
sa anumang panahon.
>
wala akong sabon
na maikakahon
meron namang tula
kinatha, ginawa.
>
mabisa ang sabon
pamatay ng mikrobyon
mabisa ang tula
pampasigla ng diwa.
>
ang sabon, tulad ng tula
naglalaho, nawawala
ang tula, tulad ng bula
naglalaho, nawawala.
>
salamat sa sabon
salamat sa kahon
salamat sa tula
salamat sa bula
>
salamat sa dula
salamat sa diwa
salamat sa panahon
salamat, ngayon!
>
ang sabon, tulad ng tula
naglalaho, nawawala.
ang tula, tulad ng bula
naglalaho, nawawala.
>
- ian lomongo, nov. 8, 2005
Tessa de Guzman’s poem about Angono
2010
10.03
10.03
November 20, 2005, for the 2nd Neo-Angono Public Art Festival, we held a free outdoor screening of indie films (shorts by Mes de Guzman, Tessa de Guzman, and Lloyd Blancaflor; full-lengths by Ron Bryant and Sig Barros-Sanchez) at the parking lot of Metrobank Angono. Billed as “Sine-silip sa Sinagtala: Revisiting Star Theater,” it was a tribute of sorts to the theater that used to stand where Metrobank Angono now is. A run-down, third-class theater with a double-feature program (and seats full of “surot,” bedbugs?), Star was where I (and many of my contemporaries in Angono) watched movies with friends. It was where I saw “Superman II,” “Ghostbusters,” “Never Say Never,” “For Your Eyes Only,” and of course, the unforgettable (for me) “Alapaap” by Tata Esteban.
Below is a poem by Tessa de Guzman on her “Angono experience.”
best regards,
ian
— Tessa de Guzman wrote:
> Date: Tue, 29 Nov 2005 19:24:17 -0800 (PST)
> From: Tessa de Guzman
> Subject: angono
> To: Ian Lomongo
> Angono
> para sa Neo-Angono Artists Collective, sa pamilyang Vitor, at sa atin
>
> Angono,
> kinupkop mo kami- / you adopted us-
> wanderers, wayward children of the arts,
> mga anak ni Brocka. / Brocka’s children.
> Kala namin uulan / We thought it was going to rain
> but you held a painting up
> so we would not get wet.
> It was a painting
> of starry skies
> a clear, cloudless night
> stretched between two bamboo poles
> where we watched our lives unfold
> at 24 frames per second:
> Ian jumped off a building
> while Santi played piano like a madman-
> Dra. Shane couldn’t do a damn thing about either.
> In the guise of another
> I murdered my abusive husband
> and flirted with Chris Stein.
> Dino sang the slow old songs of our parents
> and when JP started a joke,
> none of us could stop laughing.
> Later on Diane confessed
> that dreams are her reality
> as Aeon wondered what she was going to do now
> with all this time.
> Eventually, Mike begged Roxanne to turn off her red light,
> and though he don’t get a kick out of champagne,
> Sledge got a kick out of an evening
> that was totally Pinoy
> and purely Mhajica.
>
> It was hard to leave you, Angono.
> On our way back into the city
> nakaramdam kaming lahat / we all felt
> ng kakaibang pangungulila. / a peculiar sense of abandonment.
> We couldn’t stop the roads from getting wider
> or the buildings from growing bigger-
> just like all kids can’t be stopped
> from getting older
> from leaving home
> from travelling by narrow roads
> into the unknown.
> But what we can promise you
> is that we will travel light
> bringing only
> the best of what we left behind
> with us
> everywhere we go.
>
> Thank you.