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Menos Tu Vientre by Miguel Hernandez

(translation by Ian Lomongo)

Kundi sa’yong sinapupunan,
lahat ay pawang kaguluhan.
Kundi sa’yong sinapupunan,
bukas na dagling lumilisan,
baog at ‘di-mabanaagang
kupas na kahapon ang tanan.
Kundi sa’yong sinapupunan,
lahat-lahat ‘di mawarian.
Kundi sa’yong sinapupunan,
lahat kawalang-katiyakan,
lahat doon sa kalayuan,
abong walang sandaigdigan.
Kundi sa’yong sinapupunan,
lahat pusikit na karimlan.
Kundi sa’yong sinapupunan,
(na) kaliwanagan, kaibuturan.

Tags: Miguel Hernandez, Poetry, Translation
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Ganap.
(ni Miguel Juanjo (a.k.a. Wang-Ho) Tiamson Lomongo)

“Kailan kaya sasapit ang araw ng pagiging ganap
Ng lahat ng ating mga pinapangarap?”

Araw-araw, patuloy ang paghahanap,
Patuloy… maging ang pagpapanggap,
Patuloy ang pag-aapuhap,
Patuloy ang pagganap
Sa tungkulin, kahit walang kahina-hinagap
Sa katotohanang pinapangarap magagap,
Malanghap… Malasap!

Ano nga ba’ng nagaganap sa mga nagsisipagganap
Sa mga pagtatanghal na’ting kinakaharap?
Ay! Masalimuot na prosesong may kung anu-anong sangkap!
Mapa-dula man o pelikula, ang pagganap
Maihahalintulad sa pagdadalisay at pagbubusilak
Ng paglalaba. Mga damit na ginagamit
Sa pagharap sa sangmaliwanag, binabasa, pinapalo, pinipitpit,
Kinukusot, sinasabon. (Ang sabon, tulad ng tubig
At baha, lumilinis at pumapatay, sa pamamagitan ng bula…
Mga bulang tulad ng katotohanan, buhay, at dula,
Naglalaho, nawawala.)
At matapos banlawan, mga damit ikukula,
Isasabit sa sampayan
Upang sa liwanag ng araw masilayan.
Gayundin ang kinasasapitan ng mga damdamin, isip,
Guni-guni, panaginip, libog, pag-ibig, galit, pangamba, pananalig:
Dinadalisay, binubusilak, binabasa, sinasabon, pinapalo, pinipitpit,
Kinukusot, binabanlawan, ‘kinukula,
At saka ngayon pinaplantsa, upang maikubli ang mga gusot sa mata.
Mga maskarang tulad ng damit pinagpapalit-palit
Sa pangangarap na magampanang ganap
Ang pagganap.

Samantala, patuloy sa paghahanap…
Tuloy-tuloy maging pagpapanggap…
Tuloy-tuloy sa pag-aapuhap…
Tuloy-tuloy sa pagganap
Sa tungkulin, kahit walang kahina-hinagap
Sa — katotohanan, kabutihan, kagandahan, kaligayahan –
KaGANAPang pinapangarap magagap
Malanghap… Malasap!

“Kailan kaya sasapit ang araw ng pagiging ganap
Ng lahat ng ating mga pinapangarap?”

Ganap.

Ika-14 ng Disyembre, 2004

Tags: Add new tag, Poetry
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Ano nga ba ang isang tula?

Isang marikit na kasinungalingang binihisan. Isang katotohanang ipinararamdam lamang. Tanging sa pagpaparamdam lamang nito hindi nagiging kasinungalingan ang katotohanan. Isang katotohanang ’singhalaga at ’sintago ng miniminang yaman.

Sino nga ba ang nakakakita na, sa katotohanan, kulay-asin ang dagat?

Walang sinuman. Gayunpaman, nagpaparanas ito, wumawagayway, ipinapakita at sinasalamin ng mga binuo nitong bula ang kulay ng gasuklay na buwan. Nasa kanyang hiwaga ang higit niyang kagandahan.

Hindi maaaring tumambad sa atin ang tula nang hubad. Mga buto ng tula lamang ang taglay ng mga tulang hubad. At ano nga ba’ng mas papangit pa sa mga pawang kalansay lamang?

Ingatan, mga manunula, ang diwa ng tula: isang espinghe. Hayaan n’yong matuto silang bakbakin ito tulad ng balat ng kahoy… Ay, tulad ng dalandan! kaylinamnam ng itinatago nito sa loob ng kanyang mala-planetang kabilugan!

Ingatan ang inyong sarili, mga manunula, laban sa mga bungang walang-balat, mga dagat na walang-alat.

Kailangang umubra ang tula gaya ng sa banal na misa.

Kailan kaya darating ang manunula na hawak sa kanyang mga daliri ang tula gaya ng paring tangan-tangan ang ostiya at nagsasabing: “Ito ang Diyos!” at maniniwala tayo?

- Miguel Hernandez, spanish poet, 1910-1942 (Tagalog translation by Ron Capinding)

Tags: Add new tag, Miguel Hernandez, Poetry, Translation
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“He remembered his sadness well, but he could no longer remember what had made him so sad. It was that way with everything: even sadness passed, even pain and despair, as well as the joys. Everything passed, faded, lost its depth, its value, and finally there came a time when one could no longer remember what had pained one so. Pains, too, wilted and faded… Yes, doubtless this pain, this bitter need would also grow old and tired. It too would be forgotten. Nothing had permanence, and he regretted that, too.”

- Herman Hesse, “Narcissus and Goldmund”

—

Am continuing my reflections on the possibility of a “Nietzschean Buddhism”…

Would like to sit again…

I’ve found something valuable in my practice. Hey, I may have not changed much but I detect a glimmer of hope… the possibility of overcoming deeply-ingrained bad habits of old. I’m no superman but like him, “I’m just out to find a better part of me.”

I came to Vipassana as a pantheist with Nietzschean leanings. I had strayed away from the Catholic Christian Church in the mid-1990’s. It was meeting Nietzsche (through his books, of course) that brought about my “conversion.” I found quite a number of my very deepest feelings and thoughts verbalized by this “madman.”

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Tags: Add new tag, Buddhism, Desire, Meditation, Nietzsche, Nietzscheans, Nirvana, spirituality, Vipassana
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Drugs and alcohol can open up a spiritual experience. But, as Bhagavan Das pointed out, it’s a dark (tamasic) path and the danger is in being eaten up or swallowed by the substance, instead of the other way around.

I haven’t taken hallucinogens. (I’d like to, someday, with reformed drug addict Rudy as a “guide.” To make sure I don’t harm myself or another…)

I think my first experience of “psychedelia” was Sesame Street. (“1,2,3,4,5…6,7,8,9,10…11,12… doodoodoodoo…,” among others…) My parents were not hippies. They listened to Bread, middle-of-the-road stuff…

But I had a cool uncle and aunt. My Uncle Boyet brought me to an open-field rock concert when I was maybe 6… where I think I first heard Pepe Smith. This uncle would show me his psychedelic paintings and taught me my first cool words: “Hayuup!” “Haneeeep!”

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Tags: Alcohol, Drugs, Drunkenness, Lucid Dreaming, Music, Pasig Market, Penguin Cafe, Pepe Smith, Psychedelia, Rock, Sobriety, spirituality
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I remember this film I saw in one of the French Spring Film Festivals, “Chance or Coincidence” about an “eventologist” (or someething) whose “other” job is to find connections/meanings in the chance occurences of life. I don’t remember the details of the story, it’s a love story (I think). I liked it, and also this Nat King Cole song in it, with the words “For all we know/care…?” Ala lang, baka lang alam n’yo. Am being whimsical here. It might have some meaning in the greater scheme of things. Hehehe.

Was also fascinated by “Sliders” (the TV series with Jerry O’Connell?) and “Sliding Doors” (with Gwyneth Paltrow).

In the TV series (based on a scientific theory, the “many-possible worlds” theory), the character played by Jerry, with his friends and professor (John Rhys-Davies), travel through a wormhole that leads to a parallel universe. Same time, different world. In some episodes, they even get to meet their alter-egos.

The movie “Sliding Doors” is premised on this one triviality: whether Gwyneth’s character is able to get on the subway on her way home or not. And the two parallel lives of Gwyneth play themselves out, each radically different from the other — all because of missing/not-missing a train ride. The movie however makes this intriguing, though perhaps unwarranted, conceit. The two Gwyneths (almost meet physically in an elevator) become “reconciled” during this scene by having only one singular experience, implying that the events which would follow from now on would be the same, even if they diverged earlier. Perhaps her inner reconciliation brought about the reconciliation of two divergent worlds? Perhaps she is owned by a destiny that’s greater than all the numerous happenstance of her life?

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Tags: Movies
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Some people say that Christianity has been misunderstood. It looks to me more like it is Christianity which has misunderstood! The world, perhaps even Christ!

I’m not associating Christ with Christianity. When Nietzsche wrote “Der Anti-Christ” (usually translated as “The Anti-Christ”), his polemics was directed more to Paul and Christendom/Christianity, (a note in the translation says that it is probably more fitting to translate it as “The Anti-Christian.”) The same with Kierkegaard, his beef was with Christendom (the bureaucracy of Christianity). Christianity, as we know it today, is according to biblical scholarship, largely the work of Paul the Apostle.

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Tags: Body, Buddhism, Catholicism, Christianity, D.H. Lawrence, Filipinos, Kierkegaard, Love, Matter, Morality, Movies, Nietzsche, Philippines, Philosophy, Platonism, religion, Sex, Soteriology, spirituality
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Part of the reason why I strayed away from “mother church” is my perception (whether right or wrong) that spirituality is inimical to the body.

You want to be holy/spiritual? Then, deny the body. The body, with its desires (sexual, biological, etc.) needs to be tamed, nay, caged. The body is a burden. If only we can become like angels. Pure, without the body which (unruly and with all these icky secretions, mucus, urine, etc.) always presents itself as a problem, a hindrance, an obstacle.

I’ve no problems with ascetic practices. I see their value. But when these practices get tied up with the denigration of the body, I react.

Didn’t God create the world and saw that it was good? Why then look at the body with an evil eye?

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Tags: Body, Matter, Philosophy, Sex, Spirit, spirituality, Vipassana
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Personalism vis-a-vis Parochialism

(A Reaction to a Piece on Personalism by Verdman)

—

(an old piece written in June 2004)

—

“Walang personalan. Trabaho lang.”

- a line from a movie about a cop (played by Rudy Fernandez) who summarily executes a criminal (“Markang Bungo” yata… not sure though…)

—

“i think (i could be wrong, most of the time i am), that the root of our problem is our personalistic approach to life. we easily sacrifice objectivity in order to accomodate our personal affiliations, thus negating our chance to cultivate values that are necessary to achieve real progress. personalism is in every fabric of pinoylife. from the moment of birth (kung sino ang magiging ninong), up to the time of death (kung sinong asawa ang may karapatan sa bangkay). whether business, sports, politics, gov’t, etc…. personalism always plays a part. nothing wrong with cultivating personal ties per se, we are a social animal afterall, it’s when personalism is accomodated at the expense of objectivity, this is where corruption starts, first morally, then leading up to plunder.”

- Verdman (a nom de plume), On Personalism

—

What’s the problem with personalism?

The way I see it, there’s nothing wrong with personalism per se. In fact, it is precisely this personalism that makes Noypis so lovable, and as Ninoy put it, “worth dying for.”

It is when personalism clashes with “objectivity” that the problem arises. It thus degenerates to parochialism. Parochialism, i.e., my interests over your interests, my family over your family, my clan over your clan, my my hey hey!… Parochialism, narrow-mindedness, “subjectivism,” bigotry…

The Philippines is relatively a young country. We’ve only started to think of ourselves as one nation during the 19th century, the credit mainly to the ilustrados (which include Rizal). (See Leon Ma. Guerrero’s “The First Filipino.”) Probably no small wonder that we’re still trying to find our bearings… still trying to get our act together.

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Tags: Filipinos, Jose Rizal, kapwa, Leon Ma. Guerrero, Ninoy Aquino, Parochialism, Personalism, Verdman, Virgilio Enriquez
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wrote this circa 2004…

—

I think the better version of that witticism is “I’m a vegetarian not because I love animals. It’s because I hate plants.”

The anecdote might have been simply a hyperbole to convey what I think is a very wise teaching: should it ever come to a point when one’s uncompromising principles lead to the possible loss of compassion, better relax and compromise. I think the head-monk ate the meat not so much because he didn’t want to refuse the host but because his fellow-monks were berating the hotel staff.

Likewise, the “animal-loving misanthropist” bit simply referred to the abundant cases of eccentrics who get featured in the media who shun human society and spend millions of dollars for the upkeep of their pet cats/dogs.

I wasn’t all that concerned with vegetarianism per se.

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Tags: Conrad de Quiros, Elizabeth Chionglo, Graham Greene, Masada, Philippine Daily Inquirer, Vegetarianism
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