Archive for May, 2008

One Sorry Horse


2008
05.29
Balinguyngoy

One Sorry Horse, a.k.a. Balinguyngoy

Artist’s Statement for ONE SORRY HORSE

How does one incorporate the mistakes of one’s life into the very essence of who and what one is? How does one transform the accidentals of one’s life into what is essential?

I first wanted to present the idea of a holy horse, not in a satirical manner, nor through the presentation of purity (as in a white horse). Besides, the idea of a “virginal horse” seems to be a contradiction in terms. Instead, I wanted to convey the idea of a holy compassion that one gains by plodding through the dirty dust and murky waters of life. (Think of Milarepa and St. Augustine of Hippo.)

But in the process of discovering how to present this visually through the taka, I made a lot of serious mistakes. I didn’t know what to make of these accidents until I thought of making this bewilderment the very point of the exercise. The remorse I felt for not reining in my instincts was brought into the work, and deliberate “accidents” (dismembered ears and tail) were added to the accidental mistakes (splotches of paint originally intended to dirty the holy horse) to signify the loving acceptance of one’s fate.

Balinguynguy,  as friends fondly call it, was born out of a mistake.

And I wouldn’t want it to be otherwise.

best regards,

ian

When Harry Met Sally… (Or, Can Men and Women Be Friends?)


2008
05.26

“Can men and women be friends?”

What made the film “When Harry Met Sally” memorable for me — aside from the “orgasm” of Sally (Meg Ryan) at the diner — was this intriguing question, provoked by Harry’s premise/presupposition that men and women cannot be simply friends because sex almost always enters the equation.

(In another movie, I think “All of Me,” Steve Martin gets confronted by his wife — “I faked all my orgasms!” — who proceeded to demonstrate this by having “one” right in front of him in his very office. Steve Martin, humiliated, replies, “Well, so did I!”)

Of course, as Harry (Billy Crystal) grows and matures in the course of the years, he revises and modifies his theory but basically retains the core of his presupposition.

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Everything is Grace!


2008
05.25

Mwahahahaha! Just had to let the cosmic laughter resonate, no, reverberate in my body…

Everything is grace! Even when shit happens… Divine piss, holy shit!

I have always been wary of spirituality/religiosity that denied/denigrated the body. Non summus angeli! (We’re no angels!)

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For Sharon (And All the Many Brave People in the World)


2008
05.23

For Sharon (And All the Many Brave People in the World)

I stood
Like a statue
Unmoving, unseeing
Not speaking, not wanting
To break
The fragile silence that
Engulfed us like
A wall oppressing,
Suffocating, separating
Me… from you.

But I was dying to live!
And breathe, and see
The many things I haven’t seen
And move, and do
The many things I haven’t done.
How I longed to look at you
(Take a long and good look at you.)
To speak, and be, with you.
Oh how I yearned to touch,
Feel, and love you.

But then again, as always,
I was afraid
Of you, and me,
And the many things
I haven’t seen and done
(And of I-don’t-but-God-knows-what-else).
And then again, as always,
I had to hide
And be content
To peek from inside.

Suddenly, brave as an angel
Come down from heaven, you
Freed me from the chains
I myself forged
And wound around me.
You looked at, talked with, me
And with a smile, shattered
The walls of timidity and fear
That imprisoned and prevented
Me from loving you.

And then, I could breathe, though gasping
And so, I could see, though squinting
And more, I could move, though trembling
And yes, I could speak, though stammering
And now, I could feel, though numbing
At last, I could love, though wanting.

Err… This is to say
“Thank you”
For “I love you“?

Life is My One Great Love


2008
05.19

life.jpg

FAKERY AND AUTHENTICITY IN RICHARD ATTENBOROUGH’S “GREY OWL”


2008
05.17

Saw Richard Attenborough’s “Grey Owl” on TV. (Saw “Gandhi” in my elementary school years.) It featured Pierce Brosnan as Archie Belaney, a.k.a. “Grey Owl.” Based on a true story.

Loved the movie. Like “The King of Masks,” it touched on the relationship between living an authentic, passion-filled life and merely “playing” a role/part. Or more derogatorily, merely “faking” it.

Can one live an authentic life when one is engaged in a deception? Can one have “authority” when “authenticity” is lacking? What does it mean to be “authentic”?

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The Actor as Shaman (Thoughts on Wu Tianming’s “The King of Masks”)


2008
05.14

The awareness of the shamanic aspect of acting (the actor as an agent of positive change in society) is one of the things that I liked in “The King of Masks.”

Society has always been ambivalent to actors.

On the one hand, people are fascinated by the magical, yes, shamanic capacity of the actor to become other than what and who he is. Acting was first done by priests/shamans. There has always been that mystical/divine/spiritual/religious aspect to acting.

And yet, because of that possibility of entering into the nature of “things,” actors themselves can be waylaid and thrown off, especially by the dark daemonic qualities of persons and things. This is what probably scares a lot of people. Actors get to cross boundaries and societal taboos with some measure of impunity – anyway they’re just fulfilling their roles. But when the iconoclasm breaks through from art to real life… uhuh… that’s where it becomes dangerous and suspicious.

Thus actors too were regarded as immoral people, lumped with the gypsies and criminal elements.

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From “The Book of Lights” by Chaim Potok:


2008
05.11

From “The Book of Lights” by Chaim Potok:

“From the age of fifteen until the age of twenty-one he lived in the apartment world of his aunt’s whispery talking and his uncle’s coughs and brooding silence, and he did not know which was more frightening. For a while after his cousin’s death he thought his family had somehow been singled out for a special curse. But he talked to friends and found that throughout the neighborhood ran a twisting river of random events: parents died in slow or sudden ways, children were killed, relatives slipped young from life. The world seemed a strangely terrifying place when you really thought about it. He tried not to think about it too often.

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The King of Masks by Wu Tianming


2008
05.07

“The King of Masks” (by Wu Tianming), a heart-warming (if a bit melodramatic and, according to a friend, emotionally manipulative) Chinese film with English subtitles.

Loved it. And am recommending that you take the time to watch it.

Reasons to watch it:

1) It features a monkey.
2) It has nudity. (Extreme close-up!) Hahaha!
3) It has the “Living Bodhisattva” in it.
4) It underscores the “non-essentiality”/accidentality of some of our societal masks (like gender, for instance) in what truly matters.
5) It’s about having passion and developing compassion.
6) It’s about the interweaving of life, art, and love.

Don’t miss it, especially if you’re an actor/performer.

Best regards,

thesp-ian

Fate, Faith, and Reason


2008
05.05

On the eve of the day when I was thrown into this world, I go back reflecting on the happenstances that have helped me, for better or for worse, become the person that I am.

There is a saying which goes: “Man proposes, God disposes.” How our life turns out in the end is a matter of both fate and faith, destiny and freedom.

I believe (in my destiny), therefore I will accept (my fate). Besides, we can’t do otherwise. It’s in our nature (fate?) as human beings to always try to see or incorporate our misfortunes into the greater scheme of things and find their lessons and/or meanings.

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